By Kerry Hasenbalg
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” –Psalm 34:18
I gave birth to a stillborn daughter a few weeks ago. I was 36 weeks pregnant and I lost her. There was a knot in her umbilical cord. My husband and I are simply grieving and seeking the God of all comfort right now.
Laboring knowing that I was giving birth to a child who had died the day before was the most difficult thing I had ever done. And the irony was that my own brother and sister-in-law had given birth to their own son the day before, only three hospital rooms down. They were there on the same floor in the hospital while I was losing my daughter. There were so many ironies that I could not ignore that all of this was from the hand of God. I have experienced enough of God thus far in life that I did not have the ability to deny Him or His love for me. But, I can honestly say I did not and do not know why he orchestrated or allowed things to take place like this.
Yet I choose not to waste my sorrow. When I lost another child via miscarriage at 15 weeks a couple years ago, I made a decision to pray for those things in earnest that matter the most to me, because I was acutely aware that God was close to me – for He promises that He is close to the broken-hearted. He answered all of my prayers that I prayed during that time.
For all those who are also in the valley right now, I want to encourage you that there is a fellowship in suffering and not to forget to give your hurt and sorrow to the One who created you. Watch how He will do miraculous things with it, for you, for those you love and for the kingdom!
He will not leave you in this place, and He will bring about His purposes for your good because you are His!
Believe Him, Trust Him – He loves you! Just as I know He still loves me.