Healed Through Caring

"Blessed are those who consider the state of the poor.  The Lord rescues them in times of trouble." Psalm 41:1

I wrote in my last blog about the heart condition which followed the loss of my daughter and the many factors which led to my cure.  But I realized that there was one very important factor I have failed to mention which I had shared with a women's group in Pennsylvania.  Here is an excerpt from that teaching

"Our family went through our own personal fiery furnace experience this past January.   I gave birth to our daughter, Isabella Grace, two weeks before my due date and she was still born.  This death of my infant daughter was the greatest personal suffering I have ever experienced.  And understandably, I needed time to mourn and to heal.  Nevertheless, what followed was a series of other family tragedies and the deaths of several other loved ones.  During this whole ordeal my children and I came down with a horrific flu.  In addition to these things, my blood pressure which had spiked during my traumatic labor, had remained 60 points higher than normal for seven weeks and was making my heart race continually and giving me migraines headaches. I was truly hurting in every way. 

A Bible College teacher of mine said, “You know you are in the valley if the only comforting thought is death.”  I was most certainly in the valley!  

During this rock bottom time, I received some text messages from orphan siblings, (there are ten of them in one family) whom we support in Africa.  They were telling me that their school fees were due, they needed new uniforms and one of the girl twins was in the hospital.  I also found out that one of them had gotten in trouble and kicked out of school.  But this time I just couldn’t deal with it, so I didn’t.  They tried to pull my heart strings by calling me mummy, and thanking me for being the only mother they have known since their mother and father were killed.   But I found myself rejecting those words because I could hardly take care of my own sick kids right in front of me.  I decided I am too sick, too tired, too overwhelmed, too fearful, too depressed, and too sad.  I have done enough, I’ m done and I am sure God understands.  I am the one who is broken now!  

On my lowest day of all, I received a call from a dear sister in the Lord. She’s a woman who really understood my pain because she had lost four children of her own, two children to miscarriage; she had a stillborn son and another son who died at three weeks of age.

She said over the phone, “Kerry, I was spending some time in the Word and I had such a sense that God was telling me to call and read this passage of Scripture to you because it is His promise to you Kerry. And she read Psalm 41:1-3….Oh, the joys of those who are kind to the poor/ Blessed are those who consider the state of the poor.  The Lord rescues them in times of trouble.  The Lord protects them and keeps them alive.  He gives them prosperity and rescues them from their enemies.  The Lord nurses them when they are sick and eases their pain and discomfort.”

She said “Kerry I know you are kind to the poor and so these are God’s promises to you.  I hope this encourages you.”  I thanked her and told her she certainly had heard God’s leading to share this with me.  But I had to admit that these verses are more like God’s loving exhortation to me than just a simple encouragement.  I told her that I had just purposed in my heart to quit.  I thought I could not afford to do anymore for the orphan and the poor, but now I realize I can not afford not to!"  

P.S. For those of you who have shared about your own pains and losses on this blog, please know that your stories have touched my deeply!!  Yesterday, I read the testimony of the young woman who mentioned her loss on my blog yesterday by going to her blog. When I read of how she lost her twin daughters last year and how she still saw Jesus in the midst, all I could do was weep before my husband about it.  Paul said that he wanted to be part of the fellowship of His suffering.  I never understood this before because I did not. But I can honestly say there is something very beautiful and divine about weeping with those who weep because you so desire to keep others from experiencing the kind of pain you have known.  I believe suffering in Christ does make us more compassionate.  May we all experience healing through caring for others - for those who are physically poor and for those who are poor in spirit! 

Comments

[Kim in Seattle]

Kerry,

Thank you so much for your vulnerability and sharing. In a world that is afraid to share the deep parts, I appreciate your honesty. And probably the thing I appreciate the most is how you share what God has done in your life through those times that have been hard for you. They have been a great encouragement to me to remember in all things to seek the Lord.

May you have a blessed day.

Sincerely,
Kim

[Andrew Henderson]

Kerry,

I was searching for your husband and came across your blog. To learn of the events in January was saddening and my thoughts and prayers are with you and Scott. My relationship goes back a few years with Scott. Shaohannah's Hope was just starting and we were trying to decide if we were going to adopt. We met Scott and Brian Luwis at a signing of Steven's in Atlanta and the rest is history. Our daughter turned five on Monday and we celebrated four years with "gotcha day" on August 2nd. Oh how time flies.

I had Scott's email at one time but cant seem to locate. I would appreciate you having him email me at jandrewhenderson@comcast.net.

Blessings, Andrew

[Darlee]

Kerry,

I'm missing your poignant post because for some reason, your text is being cut off by the margins on the right. It's probably my computer.

Anyway, I always look forward to reading your blogs because you truly have a gift (it's clear that you have MANY gifts) and God is using your sweet spirit to tenderize my soul. Thank you for being so transparent. It has helped me tremendously.

Keep writing!

Love,

Darlee

[Beka]

Darlee, I had that problem too. Just highlight everything and copy and paste it to a word pad. I was able to read everything that way.

[Kerry Hasenbalg]

Hopefully I fixed the margin problem. Not sure. I just switched from a PC to a Mac and ..well, been running into a few glitches as I switch my documents over. BTW, thanks! Kerry

[Debbie from Ohio]

I too, couldn't read all your blog because the sentences are being cut off.

[Debbie from Ohio]

P.S. I read where Beka copied and pasted your blog into wordpad, that work. Your words touched my heart...we can and should carry others burdens. That's the way we can lighten our own burdens; helping others carry theirs. God bless you!

[Shane]

Thank you for sharing about your days in the valley. Your comment about death being the only hope is profound to me as I've seen that dark place too. But there is healing and new mercies that come every morning when you're walking with the Lord. And you are a great witness to that. Thank you.

[Anitra]

Sorry that I've let you slip away again! Reading your blog is like being back at the Railroad Dorm in Moscow and pouring out our hopes and dreams! You are just as articulate now as you were then and it seems like your faith has grown such incredible roots. How funny that after all those visits to the orphanages of Russia, plodding through the streets to hold a couple babies and to whisper some quiet prayers over them as I struggled to even say hello, that we would both be so involved in orphan ministry- you as a wife and mother and me...well...apparently as a big mouth as we talk alot about orphans on the Morning Show. Are you or Scott coming to Florida for any of the United tour dates? I would love to see you and yell at the top of my lungs that..Nash Bog vce magooshy Bog! (I don't think Rich Mullin's could have said it any better)

[Kelly Burton]

Kerry, like many others I'm sure, I found you from Jim Houser's blog. I have been mourning the death of little Maria like I knew her, and this morning as I finished listening to SCC's Focus on the Family interview, my heart broke all over again.

I have never been through the suffering you have endured this year. My battle, thus far, was infertility, and after my period in the valley, God healed me and gave me two beautiful baby daughters. Even so, my heart has been called to "my daughter" in China for the last 6 years. I don't know who she is yet, but I know she is there. Thank YOU for being so transparent and for all you are doing for the children of the world. You are my sister in Christ and I do weep with you and will continue praying for you as well.

[Sarah]

Thank you for your tears, for your compassion and for your tender heart that shines through your words. You have impacted a life today!

[Cindi M.]

Kerry,

Your words ring true like a cold glass of lemonade on a scorching hot day. Thank you for your authenticity, your vulnerability and your willingness to share your heart for the benefit of others. In a world of phonies and walking mannequins, your words give me something to meditate on today.

Thanks.

[Corie O'Brien]

Kerry,
Your blog continues to touch me as I walk throught the valley. You always have such words of wisdom and the ability to continue to direct all to the Word of God...the best place to be. You are real and yet show hope in the midst of a hard suffering. I guess I'm just saying thank you for sharing the way you do!

[Kris G.]

Kerry,

I too, have been touched by your blog and want to thank you for sharing and encouraging us all. My family adopted a little special needs girl from China last October and she has given our family more joy than we ever could have imagined.

I also wanted to share a song with you, written by Dan Parotti and his wife Shani, a local MN couple I met last week. They like you, suffered the loss of an infant. Their third child, Sophia, passed away the night before she was scheduled to be delivered by C-Section.

To heal, Dan and Shani wrote a haunting, amazingly beautiful song about their daughter. I just heard it for the first time last week and it touched me deeply. Dan wrote it in the hopes of helping others in their pain...maybe it will help heal you as well. His CD is called Vessel, the song is titled Sophia.

Here's a link to a Windows Media Player copy of the song.

www.gleasonworks.com/sophia.wma

[Lori]

Kerry,
I am sharing this with my women tonight as a part of what God has led me to this week. I read 2 Cor. 1 the other morning, not knowing that "afliction" would find me that day. Then the next day, I read 2 Cor 2, just when I needed to forgive a great hurt....and just at the right time later that day, I checked up on a friend fighting serious cancer...in the moment I was speaking to her, it was as if the Lord spoke to me and said, "See, there truly is healing through caring for others." That was the moment I think I really, truly let go of the hurt and allowed God to teach me something throught he affliction. God is so faithful, so awesome. Be encouraged. The God of all comfort has given us to sufferings so we really can know HIM better.
Lori in SC