Kerry Hasenbalg

A Bit of Perspective

Just thought I would share a bit from my morning and evening devotionals as the two were painfully and ironically similar...(and ouch..they hit me right where it hurts most....in my pride)  The first comes from "My Daily Bread" and the second from the "imitation of Christ" by Thomas A Kempis.

"Do not care too much about who likes you and who does not.  Why waste time worrying about who is for you and who is against you?  Just do your best to please God and He will be on your side.  He will stand by you as long as you hate sin and avoid it in your daily life.  When He is with you, what does it matter who else is against you?  Never be disturbed when others say things that hurt.  If you thought more often of your sins you might even agree with some of their remarks.  Speak often with God and men will impress you less than they do now.  The more you advance in prayer, the less you will be tempted to talk against others.  And what they say or do against you, will seem so trivial when you have learned to join the Lord through prayer and recollection.  God knows what you really are. What men say about you, will not change what you are nor what God thinks of you.  Do not fear the judgments of those around you.  Live for the Lord by trying to please Him and you will enjoy His peace."

"It is good for us to encounter troubles and adversities from time to time, for trouble often compels a man to search his own heart.  It reminds him that he is an exile here, and that he can put his trust in nothing in this world.  It is good, too, that we sometimes suffer opposition, and that men think ill of us and misjudge us, even when we do and mean well.  Such things are an aid in humility, and preserve us from pride and vainglory.  For we more readily turn to God as our inward witness, when men despise us and think no good of us."

OK - so I am not at this place yet...you know, to really love the humbling...but I do recognize all of this as truth...truth which I really do need in order to keep perspective!  WOW - the irony of God's loving ways.   

Share your Christmas Incidents

Laughter is good medicine; but bitterness dries up the bones  Proverbs 17:22

(A merry heart does good, like medicine; but a downcast spirit dries up the bones.)

Christmas can often be less than MERRY!  How can it be all merry since we are dealing with faulty and complicated humans.  Perhaps you had to deal with the typical kinds of challenges that Christmas seems to bring:  "complicated family dynamics, cranky kids, disappointed looks, that impatient family member who hates to stand for pictures and insists on complaining about it, and then there's the big mess after all the festivities waiting for you.  

Or maybe you experienced some of the more major mishaps like catching your hair on fire at the candlelight service (yes, that happened to me a couple of years ago); or perhaps your nicely decorated tree fell down. Perhaps you forgot to open the flu on your chimney and filled your house with smoke (yep, this year it happened to us).  

There are so many things that can really steal our joy during the holidays and we can end up more bummed out than we are merry.  So, I thought perhaps we could each share some of those things that made us laugh this holiday season.   Laughter will help make us all a little better.  And even though the incidents may not be all that funny to you now; it will probably be funny to the rest of us.  It took me a couple weeks to really laugh about catching my hair on fire at the church service that year.  Our house is still a bit smoky today, so not laughing a ton yet.  At least I'm not. But many others laughed right away at both incidents.  No seriously, please only share what you want us to laugh at...I think I just feel like laughing and I thought you may also.

  

And if you had very few laughs this Christmas, I want to encourage you to buy the game "curses" and play with a couple of people you enjoy or want to start enjoying. We played last evening and laughed ourselves silly.  Towards the end of the game my younger brother Tommy was only permitted to talk with his tongue between his teeth, while copying everything I did, all the while echoing the last word of everything he said and making animal noises before every one of his turns.  Hilarious!    

Jehovah Shamah - The God who is There

"Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them."  Matthew 18:19-20

Jehovah – Shamah, the God who is there! – He truly is a very present God!  Emmanuel, God with us!  And in Matthew 18, He promises that if even two come together in agreement in His name and ask the Lord anything, He promises to be there with us and to hear our requests. 

I can attest to the truth of this scriptures based on my experience last evening.  He was truly with us as we offered up prayers for those of you who asked for prayer, for those in our own fellowship circles, and for our own needs and heart aches as well. 

We began our time together by having Cole sing a song he wrote called “The real meaning of Christmas”.  It was really wonderful as he sang and strummed his guitar so beautifully (see pic).  We then took turns reading the account of Jesus' birth from the Gospel of Luke.  We all sang Joy to the World (as I attempted to play along on the piano).  And then the time had come for us to pray and offer up prayers as frankincense to our King.

Growing up, I would say that my family wasn’t much of a “pray out-loud- kind-of-family.”   But last evening we passed around the “incense” bowl and all drew about ten prayer requests each to offer up to God.  We then went around the circle and prayed the prayers aloud which were written on the papers we had taken from the bowl– about three prayers at a time.  It was such a special time for me to pray with my family, particularly with my father and my two brothers.  It is not something we do together very often.  And to see how my tender mother cried for so many of your requests was amazingly touching.  We closed by singing Silent Night; and then headed out to our Uncle's house for some time of fellowship. 

You know that continual battle to put the true meaning of Christmas at the center...Well, perhaps for the first time ever, this was not our struggle this year! We found true Joy and Peace last night!   My husband Scott and I both commented to one another afterwards about what an amazing sense of His Peace we both had as a result of praying like that for so many others who we really don't know!  While in the car heading off to the Christmas Eve get-together, Scott commented further about our prayer time, by saying, “This proves how it really is most freeing when we take our eyes off of ourselves and think about the needs of others, particularly when Christmas can be so stressful and too much about self-consumption.” 

AMEN TO THAT!  So, thanks for helping us be more free as a family by sharing your hearts and concerns. Nope - they didn't burden us, instead they helped free us!  

Scott and I named our first daughter, whom we lost back in 2005, Malaya Grace.  And her name means, "Freedom in the Presence of God."  And I just realized that this was exactly what we had experienced on Christmas Eve this year...Freedom in the Presence of God - Emmanuel was truly present as we gathered to pray and in the process WE became more free!  It really is true that we can't out-give God!

P.S. Thanks to all of you who prayed for the prayer requests on this blog and for me and my family!  They were much needed and greatly appreciated.  I am a woman who believes in prayer and I truly, truly, truly sensed the prayers that were prayed for me and mine!  May the Lord bless each of you immeasurably.  I asked the Lord to out-give the love you gave in prayer for me by blessing you in a very extra-special way!  Merry Christmas!

 

Emmanuel - God with us

"And they shall call His name "Emmanuel, God with us!"  Matthew 1:23

I have been praying for you - (all who commented and shared prayer requests this week).  And this evening my entire family and some special friends will be gathering to have a special Christmas church service in our home.  Together, tonight, we will be passing around the bowl of prayer requests (see picture under fellowship and events to view 'incense" bowl) and we will each be praying aloud for all your requests and the many which we have added since. 

Because of my time this week praying for many of your prayer requests, I have found myself crying out to God for some comfort even in my own heart for you.  I have asked Him to be please remind me that He is able and that He will help each of you.  And in my time of crying out, I sensed that He was really leading me to remember who HE IS - and what He is able to do..Basically to remember His character for my own comfort and understanding of these things for which I am praying.  

So, I decided to spend some time today reading about the names of God.  And in doing so, I was really encouraged in my spirit by these names as they reminded me that He is truly able and very present. God's magnificent names reveal a great deal about His nature and really do provide a great deal of encouragement for us, as His people. 

If you feel alone and or in a place where you think God could not possibly be present, whether in a dark place emotionally, spiritually or physically, then do call upon "Jehovah - Shamah, the God who is there!" If you see no way, thinking that which you pray for and deeply desire will not come to pass, then I encourage you to believe enough just to call upon "El Shaddhai, who is God ALmighty." The Word teaches us that with El Shaddahai nothing is impossible."  If you are struggle because of a lack of provision in your life or for that of your loved ones, "then ask of Jehovah-Jireh, the God who will provide" to meet you in your need.   And if it is healing you seek, then call upon "Jehovah - Repheka, the Lord who is Healer"  Our Lord is the Great Physician, of both the body and the soul! God can certainly fix that which He created in the first place.  And if your circumstances do not seem to be turning out as you desperately hoped they would have by now,then call upon the "God of Peace, Jehovah - Shalom"  to keep you in a perfect peace even in this valley time....For His peace is entirely beyond all circumstances which can be seen.  But it is very real!

My family is committed to continue to pray for you!  You see, these prayers are not only the gift that I am giving to Jesus this year, but it is also what I am giving to my precious daughters who are with Him as well.  Under our tree are many gifts for our children who live in our home, Cole and Maya.  And then situated in the bowl on the table in front of our tree are the gifts which I am giving to bless Malaya and Isabella, our daughters who are with Jesus, in the form of written prayer requests.  You see, these two daughters are already united with our Lord.  And I really believe that what we do to honor Jesus,honors those who are with Him too!  If you have lost someone you desperately love then I encourage you too to choose love and kindness, prayer, and blessing...mercy and forgiviness...and in so doing you will be blessing your loved ones withe Jesus and giving them eternal gifts too!

May the Lord be blessed by the prayers we all will bring to Him tonight and throughout this holiday season. My most earnest prayer is that God will show up powerfully for each person who chooses to simply ask for the Lord's help.  I think that sometimes God is just waiting for us to be humble enough to ask for His help ourselves before He shows up and answers.  He wants us to know how real His is.  So, first we must ask, and then He will answer -some how, some way, some day - He will answer!  May the Prince of Peace be with you and show you and your loved ones how very real He is and how very much He loves you even when things seem dark.  He came to bring light into our darkness!  Even though it may not feel like He is there - He is! - That's the name He was given at His conception - "Emmanuel - God with us!"

  

Humility gets us to the Fountain

Then he said, "Don't be afraid, Daniel. Since the first day you began to pray for understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your request has been heard in heaven. I have come in answer to your prayer. Daniel 10:12

Scott flew in from Nashville late last night… (Safely – thank  the Lord – considering the weather has been snowing and sleeting and snowing some more pretty much nonstop here the last few days).  And the kids were ecstatic to see him again after his week away.  It is amazing to me how each time Scott returns from being away for a few days, Maya only wants her daddy to dress her, to fit her in her car seat, to put her to bed, to change her diaper, to get her a drink or something to eat, to read her stories, etc.  She basically won’t let him out of her sight.  Honestly, I don’t blame her; I kind of feel the same way about him myself.  The poor guy can’t get a break!  

Anyhow, while at Walmart today we hit our first big conflict with the “only daddy will do” thing.  Scott was pushing the grocery cart ahead of me heading towards the exit, while I was behind shepherding the children to the door.  Things were proceeding pretty smoothly (considering we had been at the store far too long for having a toddler) that is until Maya noticed the drinking fountain.  She stopped dead in her tracks and began whining.  “I want a drink.”

“O.K., let me help you,” I said.  “No, I want daddy,” she whined loudly.  Dad, however, was too far ahead of us to even hear her.  I said, “Maya, Daddy can’t help you now, only Mommy can because I am right here. I need you to first stop whining and just say, ‘Mommy, can you please help me.”  

Well, apparently, that just wasn’t going to do for my precious, but strong-willed little one.  She looked right at me and said, “No, I can do it myself.”   At two years and three months of age, she just wasn’t quite big enough to reach the water spout with her mouth.  So, I said, “Maya you may try; but honey, if you want some help, all you have to do is ask Mommy to help."   “No, I can do it myself,” she said again.  There was no way she was going to reach the spout without getting some help; but from the look in her determined eyes, it was going to be quite a battle in her little mind before she was going to be willing to ask for my help.  

After a minute or two I was sure she was going to ask for my help.  But she didn't.   nstead, she took her little pointer finger and stuck it into the running water to get it wet and then proceeded to put her finger in her mouth and suck the water off of it…and she continued by repeating this a number of times - drinking one drop of water at a time.  

Absolutely unbelievable! You have got to be kidding me, I thought. I had to hold back the laughter.  I cannot believe such blatant stubbornness can be found in such a little one.  We are truly fallen creatures from the outset.   After what seemed like way too long, my Maya finally looked back up at me with very different eyes than she had before - no longer haughty known-it-all eyes, but far more humble ones.  And then she said in a very gentle voice, “Mommy, can you please help me?"

"Maya, I would love to help you get a drink of water,” I responded.  And I picked her up and she drank deeply from the water fountain.

Why are we humans, so very much like this?  I want it the way I want it and that’s that! We expect certain humans to meet our needs and when they don't, we suddenly become foolish and start to whine.  All the while, God is right there, standing beside us, gently inviting us to utilize His help.  He is the only One who can pick us up and help us reach the fountain of His grace in a way that will truly satisfy. We must humble ourselves before Him, recognizing our own need and weakness and inability to do so many things without His help and then we must simply ASK! 

And why if we know we can't do it alone, do we choose to wait and continue to suffer? Why do we continue to say in a million different ways, "I can do it myself!"  All the while continuing to forgo drinking deeply from the fountain of life which heals and comforts, fulfills and satisfies.  Just like with Maya, we insist on standing on our tippy toes and merely sticking our finger in - as if a tiny drop is enough to quench our thirsty souls and put out some of the painful fires in our aching souls.  God made our spirits a lot like our bodies, made of 97% water and in constant need of it for survival.  He is the living water and only He can get us to the fountain of grace and life.  We must stop being so stubborn and start being willing to humbly look up at the One who is patiently waiting for us in order that we can cease some of our needless suffering and just simply say,  “Please, can you help me reach the fountain?”  I have tried to do it by myself and what I came up with just wasn't enough."   His Word tell us that His fountain is enough to satisfy:  "Whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst. But the water that I shall give him will become in him a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life."  John 4:14

It was painful watching Maya struggle for so long.   And the reality is that I could have simply helped her up without her asking or changing her attitude.  But that wouldn't be real love.  That wouldn't bring about in her life the "better" thing - the more virtuous things.  Yes, God can do for us anything at any time and He knows all of our needs all of the time even before we ask; yet, He is often waiting for us to humble ourselves, and stop with the useless striving, and simply ask for his help before He lifts us up.  "Humble yourself in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up." ...Up to the Fountain!

P.S. Please feel free to continue posting prayer requests on the frankincense blog or here.  I have been offering every prayer request up regularly since first being posted; and Scott and I and a few dear souls, who will be joining us for the holidays, will be offering all posted prayer requests to our heavenly Father on Christmas together as well. 

A Bowl Full of Incense - (Prayer Requests Welcome)

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.  Ephesians 6:18

What I have decided to give to Jesus for Christmas this year is a bowl full of incense - which according to the Bible are the prayers of the saints.  ("And when he had taken it, the four living creatures and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb. Each one had a harp and they were holding golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of the saints." Rev. 5:8)

I have already gathered up a handful of prayer requests from my family and friends to offer up, but I would like to give my Savior a great big bowl full this year in celebration of His birth. As a result, I am inviting any of you who would like to help me fill my incense bowl to please share your prayer requests so I may join in offering them up on your behalf…(by posting it in the comment section of this blog).  It would not be a burden to me; it would be my honor.

I do believe I heard somewhere that frankinsence is a fitting gift to give to Jesus anyhow!

And when they had come into the house, they saw the young Child with Mary His mother, and fell down and worshiped Him. And when they had opened their treasures, they presented gifts to Him: gold, frankincense, and myrrh. Matthew 2:11

Through a bit of research, I found that the source of frankincense is a most interesting thing and something which I believe possesses incredible spiritual significance.  You see, the resin that bleeds out of Boswellia trees and is used to produce Frankincense is called tears. I find it curious also that Boswellia trees are considered unusual for their ability to grow in extremely unforgiving environments (not unlike this broken world that we trees are living in). "These trees sometimes seem to grow directly out of solid stone," (hmmm perhaps from The Rock). "And it's the deep roots of this kind of tree that prevent it from being torn away from the stone during violent storms," (like a tree firmly planted). "Furthermore, the resin tears from these hardy survivors are considered superior due to their more fragrant aroma. The aroma from these tears is more valuable for its presumed healing abilities and also said to have superior qualities for religious ritual."

 So, if you see yourself like a surviving Boswellia tree, being a deep-rooted, tear-bleeding sufferer, who clings to the Rock as you weather all the violent storms in your life, then I urge you to please come and join me in offering the tears you have bled to be used on behalf of others as a frankincense offering to the Christ Child.  For the fragrant aroma produced from all your past tears which have been dried by the grace of the breath of God now makes you a perfect and wise choice to bring such a precious gift to the Christ for your own continued healing and for the healing of others.  

I have personally prayed that the Lord would not waste any of my sorrows, particularly the tears I cried for my two daughters who are now with Jesus.  And this day, He has shown me that because I chose to cling to the Rock, Jesus Christ, in these storms, and because I continually allow Him to dry my tears with His truth, I am now more prepared to offer prayers of incense as a beautiful and fragrant gift to Him.  I know that many of you who read this blog are Boswellia Trees too.  I have seen your tears through your words and learned of your resolve to cling to the Rock in the storms.  Perhaps now is the time to turn your dried tears into frankincense for the offering of the prayers of others whose tears are still wet and falling.

As I was wrapping up the writing of this blog, I had the chance to talk with my dear friend Wendy Cosby.  I read her this blog and asked her to join me in praying for all who post prayer requests.  She said she would be honored.  And then she said, "Kerry, it is so funny you are writing this blog now because this very week I was wondering why God specifically chose it to be Gold, Frankincense, and Myrrh as the gifts given to Jesus.  Any more thoughts on the subject?"

Honestly, I hadn't thought much about this until tonight.  I had always been told that they were gifts fit for a King.  But after what I learned in my research about frankincense, I realized there must be far more significance to it than just that - plus God is always so very specific in His Word, and particularly as it relates to His Son. So, I began to work through my thoughts by processing them aloud, and as I did I realized that God was teaching me right then and there.  

I said, "O.K. so if gold represents what is most precious to men on earth then this particular gift of the magi must be to represent Jesus' Kingship.  And from what I learned about frankincense tonight, I now understand it represents what is fitting to offer to a Priest for the purpose of intercessory and Healing prayers to then be offered before our Heavenly Father.  And Myrrh was apparently used throughout history as a burial spice, so it must have been the foreshadowing of Jesus' coming role as the Christ - the sacrificial Lamb."  I suppose they each were intended to both foreshadow and to declare Jesus' three intended roles and eternal titles, gold - signifying Jesus as the last and eternal King, frankincense - signifying Jesus the last and Eternal Priest, And myrrh signifying Jesus the last and eternal Sacrifice." 

 And then, Wendy and I both paused in silence and awe of what God was ministering to our hearts. 

Dear brothers and sisters in Jesus, if we want to be wise men and women this Christmas, let us recognize the Son of God as these three things in our lives.  Let us offer up our "gold", giving to our most worthy King Jesus and to His work that which is costly; for everything that is good came first from His hand anyhow.  And let us offer up to our eternal Priest all that ails us and ails those entrusted to us through our most earnest prayer. Remember the great healing powers of frankincense.  And also to the Lamb upon the throne, let us humbly bring our own sins in sorrowful repentance for His blessed and most necessary continued washing at the foot of the cross. 

Family Members have a tendency to call before birthdays and Christmas asking me what would be good gifts to give my children  Now, wouldn't it be silly if they brought my children something all together different after having inquired?  As God's family members who have in many ways inquired of the Father about what would please the Son, we really ought to bring what the Father has requested from us from the beginning.   

Maya wants a baby doll, Cole wants spy gear....And Jesus wants the continued offering of our hearts for cleansing, our resources for sharing and our prayers for the healing of His body (who are the broken and suffering people of God)!

So, let us this Christmas ...devote ourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. Col. 4:2 

For those of you who do post a prayer request, I believe and pray that God will begin honoring them immediately as your own personal incense offering to Him. And down the road when the prayers you posted are answered, please do share your praise reports with us as well. 

And for you weathered Boswellia trees who are considering adding these requests to your own prayer lists, please be encouraged by God's own request of us found in I Timothy 2:1, "I urge you, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone."

(Although I will refrain from commenting on specific prayers requests in an effort to make it clear that all are equally important, please know that if it is posted it will be offered up to our Great King - the Priestly Lamb)

 

Spiritual Lessons from a Hermit Crab

For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made...  Romans 1:20a

         “There sure are a lot of dead people in that cemetery Mom,” Cole said from the back seat of the car.  

“Actually, they’re all dead,” I retorted in an effort to bring some levity.

Apparently the attempt at levity went over his young head because he continued straight away with, “Hey mom, where will I be buried when I die?”

My sweet little boy has gone there again - to that place he seems to go so very often since his sister’s passing.  And it’s just my “luck” that our new house is situated two blocks from a cemetery, which we pass every time we go anywhere.

Anyhow, I decided that I should go there with him - to that very serious place where his precious little mind has gone once again.

“Cole, when you die, which I hope and believe will not be for a very long time, you may be buried in the cemetery where Isabella is buried,” I said.

“Is that where you and dad will be buried too? I want to be buried where you are,” he said.

As I answered, “yes” to Cole, my heart had already begun praying silently to God for help.  “Lord, please help me to explain to Cole in words that his little mind can understand how his body which will be buried is not really “him".  I don’t want him to picture himself there in a cold, lonely cemetery underground.  Lord, you revealed this truth to me in my adulthood, but I so desperately desire Cole to understand it in his youth for his soul’s comfort sake."

In the very next moment, in just an instant, the most simple yet profound answer came from God in the form of just two simple little words spoken to my heart - “Hermit Crab”

That’s It!  I had never seen it before...”Lord you are so good!”

“Cole,” I said,  “You know how a hermit crab lives in a shell?  And how this shell is like its body and its house all that same time.”  

“yes,” he answered.

“Well, our souls are a lot like a hermit crab inside the shell.   Everything that really matters...the life inside of us, all our thoughts, our memories, our love, our experiences, and all our feelings...are like the hermit crab inside the shell.  And our bodies are like a hermit crab shell.”

I continued, “You know how when a hermit crab grows too big for his shell, and then how it has to leave and move into another shell?”

“Sure, mom, I know that,” Cole said.

“Son, this is exactly what happens to us when our souls outgrow our bodies.  Essentially when we die and are buried, it is not “you or me” that is buried in the ground - it is just our shell that no longer holds us that is buried in the ground. We move out of old shell first and then move into the new shell which is waiting for us with Jesus in heaven” 

“Jesus does for us what would we do for a hermit crab that we would own.  Prepares a new home/body for us and has it waiting for us when we need it.  We would always have another shell waiting for a hermit crab pet that he could move into immediately after he had to move out of the old one, right?!  And even though our first shells, which are the bodies we now live in, are important, beautiful and wonderful, God promise that our next ones will be even more perfect and more beautiful than the ones that we leave behind.”

“Cole, when your body is buried at the cemetery, it is really only your first shell that you no longer need that goes into the ground.  It is just like the first shell of a hermit crab after he has moved out of it.  Do you understand son?”

“I get it mom.  And that’s a good thing to know.  But I really do like the skin I have now and I really don’t want a new one.”  

“But someday when when your old one starts to wear out, you might.”  

“Yes, you are right, maybe I’ll want a new one when I get old.  But, mom, what if someone dies when they’re young and they don’t really need a new shell cause they’re not old? What then? And do they have to get a grown up body - I like having a kid one?”

“Cole, sometimes kids die when their bodies get hurt or are sick, so they do end up needing a new one.  I suppose, in these cases God wants to give them an even newer, better, and healthier “kid kind of shell.”  And I can’t imagine that God would give a child a shell that doesn’t fit, can you?” 

“Sure mom. I get it.  Its only my shell - which is my skin and not the inside of me - that gets put in the cemetery.”    

“Yep, that’s pretty much it Cole”

And that was the end of the conversation.  Cole immediately went on to tease his sister, Maya, sitting in the seat next to him and he hasn’t mentioned it since.  

And I went on to quietly and earnestly thank the Lord for guiding me  - not only for Cole’s sake and the comforting of his little mind, but for my soul’s sake. Because I find that when things seem darkest and I am walking in the valley of the shadow of death, the only things I seem to be able to take ahold of and cling to are the most simple of truths.  Thank you Lord for giving us such wonderful example, yet again, in your amazing creation of our eternal story with you!  

P.S. - On a personal note - thanks to those of you who shared some "silly" and "not-so-silly" things about yourselves.   They all really blessed me.  I do so hope you keep sharing, I promise I will read every one!!  I have thought about ice-fishing (which I know nothing about but am intrigued), about what it is really like to be truly alone, to be a grandmother, to be "secluded", to survive an ice-storm, to be divorced, and about many other things for the first time really. I think it is good for my soul to spend time imagining myself in other people's shoes.  Plus it makes blogging feel more like fellowship... and I love fellowship.    Also, please know, I have taken the time to pray for all the matters of concern which were shared as well!  And a note to the woman who isn't so interested in hosting....please do share if you change your mind because hosting stories are some of my favorite... multiple human interests colliding under the same roof can be so entertaining.

   

 

  

Getting Started and Getting Personal

When I started writing this blog, I didn’t even know what a blog was.  I received a request to be the blogging representative for the voice of the orphan campaign back in September of 2006.  This campaign is an annual effort coordinated by Focus on the Family, Shaohannah’s Hope and Family Life during the month of November.  

Just tell some of your stories about working with orphans and foster children and write about God’s heart for orphans, was the basic request.  Maya was about four weeks old when I began writing these “devotional blogs”.  I wrote them and then sent them to someone else to post and monitor.  For more than a year after beginning to submit writings, I never even read a single blog that I can recall.

Flash forward a couple more years and add a little bit of blogging research later and I now realize that what I was writing probably wasn’t what they were looking for at all.  I had no idea that blogs were intended to be more personal and less deep and spiritual - not to mentioned shorter.  Over the past couple of months I have attempted to write about my life and more simple things....and in many ways I have, but it is still quite a struggle for me.  I seemed to give into the thinking that if it isn’t something which caused me to learn more about God and my need for Him, then its not worth writing about at all.  It also feels a little self-centered to talk about me and my family - knowing full well that no one is more important in God’s eyes than another. Strange though because I do now so often enjoy reading about the mundane and sillier things happening in the lives of others on their blogs.  So, for the sake of change, at least for this one blog, I will attempt to share some of the more personal, mundane, silly, or even shallow things I’ve been thinking about, doing, and learning of late.    

I’ve learned that I really enjoy having a front-loading steam dryer because my clothes don’t come out wrinkled.  And since I am not good at keeping up on the ironing and because Scott likes to wear button-down dress shirts, I find myself grateful often for the machine.

I’ve decided that my favorite sounds are the sounds of my children spontaneously singing praise songs to the Lord.  

My favorite thing to do is have family dance parties.  They take place in our home often now because Scott has  put “who let the dogs out” at the center of my ipod play list, and every time it plays the family seems to gather in our kitchen and jam.

I think about how my daughter is super funny and my son is super sensitive.  The positive is that he is very kind to others and she is a hoot to be around.  The negative is that he waxes sad when he is offended and she uses her cleverness to put off going to sleep at night and for nap time. 

 I love learning from other wise moms.  I am grateful for the tip I received a few years ago about juicing because my kids are “addicted” to fresh carrot juice -which is so good considering its a battle to get them to eat other veges

I really enjoy home schooling. And it turns out to be far more productive for Cole and me when Maya is napping.

Scott travels a week or two every month.  God has been gracious to give me grace most times when he is gone. 

I build a fire in the fireplace almost everyday in the winter because it makes me feel warm inside.  I like restaurants with warm atmospheres as well.

I wish we had gotten netflix when it first came out - had no idea how convenient and inexpensive it would be

I like party games - and parties

Maya prefers Scott to me in this season and it doesn't bother me at all

I live in a new house and I give it to the Lord for His use every morning

Scott loves the Word and it makes me love him all the more

I prefer cooking appetizers more than baking desserts

We are hosting people in our home almost continually (and have been since we first got married)- and I enjoy it almost all the time. Sometimes we over schedule and that can make it tough

I see jealousy as the most painful thing to deal with.  It just feels like hate.  

I really love people and I am grateful that I do

My husband is super easy to live with...easier than I am for him I think - but he’d never say that - which makes him easy to live with.

Scott perhaps washes more dishes than I do.  I think it is his special way of saying I see your hard work and want to help you.  It really blesses me but I don’t expect it.

 I like taking baths more than showers

I buy vege wash, organic milk, lots of veges and hummus and pita 

I use a netty pot to clean out my nasal passages

I cleaned out my ears for the first time in my life and had to turn down my cell phone afterwards because I could now hear so much more acutely.  I could never get the water to drain out of my ears naturally, but now it comes out like when I was a kid after swimming

being with my kids is super fun for me

I cry a lot - mostly over the pains of others

Steven Curtis Chapman is the real deal...He is exactly the same man behind the scenes as in front of the crowds...well, behind the scenes is where and when he wrestles to know God and His ways more and in front is where He shares what God has shown him through song...He really is a kind soul - no joke!

Don’t watch much TV but do enjoy the news and movies every now and again

I really super enjoy talking with people about the Word of God, especially when they know my heart is to learn together with them.  

And I really love being around people who are aware of their need for Jesus and dont feel the need to pretend they are something they are not...because this kind of fellowship in the light is so refreshing

I used to play the piano and am sad that I don’t play more now

I want to go to Italy for my 10th wedding anniversary...I’ve already made my request

Some of my favorite people work at Shaohannah's Hope - an amazing team!

I am not a consistent person..the only thing I do every day is brush my teeth - but rarely in the same bathroom and rarely at the same time of day

Emily Chapman (scc's daughter) married a truly kind man... God clearly chose Tanner Richards for SCC's beloved little girl Em!

I am sometimes hyper organized and sometime a major mess

I love how different people are...different personalities is what makes relationships interesting

I am a brunette naturally but dyed/highlighted my hair for the last 20 years...I am a brunette again for the first time this year -hence the new profile picture

I used to love to ski (and snowboard)- all the time...moguls...but since having kids, things have changed - I want to return to it...loved it. It was how I bonded with my older brother.

I am close to my mom, dad and both my brothers.  They are all kind to one another - most of the time.

I get along with all my in-laws

I wish I liked dogs more.  I love them across the room. 

I love how Hermit Crabs remind me of heaven...how they grow out of their first home/body and need a new one that fits better! (see next blog)

I moved back to my hometown this year and it is kind of cool to be here.  

I have a christian worldview and I read books about God and political geography mostly.

I have been blessed with some really true friendships and I still love meeting new people 

I am sitting in front of a fire now, Scott just returned from taking canned goods and extra coats to the christmas community giving tree, (the Word says if you have two coats, then give one away...I have about 15 so I am way behind)  anyhow, Scott just put on a "Focus Odyssey" movie for the kids and handed me a glass of red wine...so I am going to sign off now.  

But before I do, I want to ask for those of you who read to the end, please share something about yourself - silly, not so silly, prayer request, or something seemingly mundane...

(oh and sorry I am long-winded - another personality flaw)  

see ya. 

Mary Beth Chapman's Christmas Letter

To read Mary Beth Chapman's truly inspiring family Christmas letter - Clink on this link

http://chapmanchannel.typepad.com/marybeth/2008/12/mary-beths-christmas-letter-.html 

Honoring God at Christmas

They act so pious! They come to the temple and seem delighted to learn all about me. They act as a righteous nation that would never abandon the laws of its God. They ask me to take action on their behalf, pretending they want to be near me. 3 ‘We have fasted before you!’ they say.‘Why aren’t you impressed?We have been very hard on ourselves, and you don’t even notice it!’ “I will tell you why!” I respond. “It’s because you are fasting to please yourselves. Even while you fast, you keep oppressing your workers. What good is fasting when you keep on fighting and quarreling?  This kind of fasting will never get you anywhere with me.  Isaiah 58:2-4

 As Christmas is approaching, it seems that many Christian households are again seeking to know how to honor God and set tradition examples for their children to follow. Very often the holiday traditions we learned when we were young are the ones we continue to practice to this day. I am really impressed when I see Christian families seeking to serve and give to the needy more than having the holiday season focused on just the receiving of gifts.  This is a good example.

 But what I believe the Lord has really placed on my heart this year is something I have never thought much about in connection to the holiday season.  It is based on the discussion recorded in Isaiah 58 between God and His people about what kind of holiday celebration actually pleases the Lord.  And it begins first with an indictment of their false piety.  Thinking they are honoring God but in fact dishonoring Him with their lack of genuine love for others.

 So, if you are still reading, I am going to ask you to join me in searching your hearts to see how you might be dishonoring the Lord and how to begin honoring the Lord truly. First let us ask God to show us how we are pretending to love Him (fooling ourselves even) and yet continuing to oppress those we have power over?  And second to show us how we have a quarreling spirit against the people God has placed in our lives.

Because if we really want to please God and want Him to be close to us, then we have no choice but to know and repent of these things hiding in our hearts. The houses, the churches, the workplace, and the fellowship circles of most Christians is filled with  “secret” contempt for one another.  And it is so terribly displeasing to the Lord and it keeping God’s mercy and power far from us!  In this section of Isaiah, it talks about how the Lord refuses to answer the prayers of His people because of these hidden things.  I don’t know about you, but I desperately want God to answer my prayers. If you have things you need God to help you with then please join me as we ask ourselves, who have we cut off in our hearts because of petty offenses?  Who have we spoken ill of and justified in our hearts for doing so?  Who’s reputations have we harmed that are part of our own God-ordained environments…our churches, our offices, our homes, our fellowships. How are we  pretending in public that they are our “friends” but still continue to think and speak ill of them to those closest to us?

And why are we doing this? Primarily we do this because we think we are better!  Well, we are not!  Most likely, somewhere along the line, we have offended others similarly and we don’t even realize it.  We think these people should be more honoring to us, but how honoring are we to them really. Perhaps we have unspoken expectations of them that they have not met.  Let’s get some perspective…who’s expectations have we not met?  Our parents? Our spouse’s? Our co-worker’s?  Our boss’s?  Our friends?  If we desire mercy, we must first give mercy, right?!

Most often when I am offended, I chose not to go to the person directly and address the issue as the Lord has asked His people to do in the book of Matthew.  And I am ashamed to say that I am too often willing to speak about it to others and not to that person directly.  Venting is not Biblical! It is so wrong; and this does not honor God at all - and what's more it is harmful to our lives, our souls, and our relationship to God. 

What about if we are sharing the situation because we are seeking godly counsel about the situation;, is it OK to talk about it in these cases?  Well, it is critically important to understand your own motive in sharing with another.  First, make sure you are only talking to someone who is willing to speak to your sin first and still expects you to go to that person directly if you are not the one entirely at fault!  Christians rarely talk about their own sin…yet we love talking about the sins of others though, don’t we?!  We are so unwilling to address how the real issue is that our pride has been offended. Often our anger towards others is based on our setting these others up to honor us (which is idolatry…us being the intended idol) and them being upset because they fail to meet our expectations of them.  Often it is because we are angry that they can get away with their sin (which is jealousy because we want to get away with ours as well). And often it is because their personality or way of acting simply annoys us (this too is often jealousy  - because we usually don’t like people with our similar giftings because we feel replaced by them…and we think we can fulfill the role better than them). 

 So, if we are unwilling to see our sin of pride and yet continue to praise the Lord while holding on to our secret contempt towards our brethren, then this is what makes us true hypocrites! We look pious with our hands raised in church or by serving the needy, all the while we harbor resentment and justify it in our hearts!  This is hypocrisy. But until we are willing to see that we are hypocrites, we will not change and we will lack God's full blessing in the things we care about. God detests these things just as He detested them with the Israelites.

 Are you a pretender too?  You are if you are holding a grudge against your brother or sister! And as for people over whom you have power such as workers or those with less wordly influence, do you honor them the same as you would your own flesh? No matter how much we give to the Poor and needy, just like Paul said, it means nothing if we refuse to really LOVE!

Please dear brothers and sisters in the Lord, forgive and love.  Speak the truth to men as to God.  Do not be afraid to see your own sin…because this why Jesus died, to remove all the sin that we give to Him in confession.  Go do something very, very kind to the one whom you have been offended by.  Honor them; honor their reputation.  Because someday God will make sure the same is done for you when you don’t deserve it either! It is Christmas after all! We want to teach our children the true meaning of Christmas right?!  Unless we love through forgiveness and being humble and honest with our brethren, all our other Christmas traditions really do not honor God and it profits our souls nothing! So, let’s all stop pretending to honor God and begin really honoring God!   For this will give the One whose Birthday we are celebrating after all - a Very Merry Christmas!  And I promise that what you will find is that your soul will be merry as well!

Learning Thankfulness

"Look not every man look on his own things, but every man also on the things of others." Philippians 2:4

I haven’t written lately for several reason: I have been quite busy home-schooling Cole and hosting guests in our home. God has been gracious to bring some dear friends (The Haas family and the Cuozzo family) to our home for times of blessed fellowship. 

But, I must also admit that another reason I have not written during my “off” times is because I have been processing some of the difficult lessons that the Lord has been trying to teach such a stiff-necked student as me over these past months. 

Through much mercy, He has being trying to shown me that He does lift us up in our personal sufferings and that He also does defend us in the wrongs done against us – EVENTUALLY. But because of the Lord’s great love for us, He does so in His timing and not in ours.  Because I naturally desire to be made happy more than I desire to be made holy, He allows these difficulties to continue in order to give me ample time and opportunity to turn my hurts over to Him and to learn to be a good steward of what He has already given.  I realize that I want to be lifted up more than I want to learn to forgive as Jesus forgives.  I want to be blessed in receiving more than I want to grow in suffering. God desires our holiness over our happiness.  He has a plan for us that is far greater than ours and this plan involves sanctification.  Our plans are so limited by what we can see, yet His eternal plan is based on what cannot be seen.

I greatly despise being misunderstood or spoken ill of.  But God waits to defend wrongs done against us in order to give us time to learn not to do these same harmful things to others.  Do we despise speaking ill of others as much as we despise being spoken ill of? When I am wronged, I am realizing that I rarely turn first to prayer and making allowance for others faults.  How can I expect others to do this for me, if I do not first learn to do this for others? Do we desire to see others receive blessings from God as much as we desire to receive blessings for ourselves. 

And in the spirit of honest-speaking I must admit that I never imagined that I would not be pregnant again before the arrival of the year anniversary of Isabella’s death.  I am very saddened by this; but I am also sorrowful to know that my sadness for myself exceeds my past sorrow for others who have faced such things.   I asked Scott why God has been allowing this and his simple response was this, “Perhaps God wants us to learn to be more compassionate with those who have suffered with infertility."

Suffering really does have a way of teaching us to be empathetic in the sufferings of others.  Both our friends the Haases and Cuozzos who visited with us in our home (separately) this past week have themselves suffered serious losses and disappointments; and it was clear in both encounters that our families were together realizing a new kind of fellowship  - a fellowship more fully connected because of our various sufferings.  But it was not a mutual self-pitying kind-of-fellowship, but a deeper longing for the coming of all things new kind-of-fellowship.  We had a beautiful encouraging kind of fellowship and for this we are finding ourselves grateful even for the ashes.  (you can learn of the Cuozzo's recent journey on their blog  lydiahope.blogspot.com)

God has been trying to show me that I simply must choose to believe and trust Him in all my personal disappointments and that of my loved ones, knowing that He is both loving and involved.  It seems that we will always have some areas of life which are full of struggle and suffering while others areas are being blessed.  It seems to me that we will always have relationships which are on the mend and others which are struggling anew.  But we must remember God is in the midst and that things are in process of being redeemed in the heavenly realm.

My son, Cole has a tendency to often wax quite melancholy.  He will come and delineate why today is  yet another “tough” day for him.  In my parental mind I find myself thinking, “Too bad he can’t see that he received far more blessings today than he did disappointments.  He had all of His needs provided for and had many around him who were kind to him, yet he focuses only on the difficulties.” 

We recently had some kids come over to play and did arts and crafts together.  Yet, what he focused on and verbalized in his time of lamenting to me is that the kids went home earlier than he had hoped and that his craft didn’t turn out as perfectly as his friends did.  He wished his lunch had been made with a croissant instead of wheat bread and that one of the kids at one point said something unkind to another.

UUGGH – Lord, is Cole's continued lamenting a picture of me talking to you? ….One kid... at one point.  Why do we focus on the one thing said that was hurtful rather than the many nice things said by many.  Why do we focus on that one thing we didn’t do as well as others, rather than encouraging others in what they did well and being content in the talents God has given us?  Why do we focus on that one thing God withheld, perhaps for our own good, rather than the many blessings God has showered upon us?   

As a result of Cole’s tendency to point out only the negative, we have started a new type of communication about his “tough” days.  Before he is permitted to list the many difficulties he is facing, I ask him to name three good things about his day first.  It has been amazing to see how much more positive and productive a conversation we ended up having as a result.   

“Heavenly Father, in light of  the sin in me which you have reveled through my precious son, I now choose to praise you.  Thank you for the children you have already entrusted to me. Thank you for your continued provision and many blessings.  Thank you for the future, which is in your hands.  I choose to trust you in it, even when I do not “feel” like trusting. Thank you for the many relationships which are quite easy and for the others which you have miraculously healed so well. Thank you Lord even for the more difficult relationships and the opportunities they provide for me to learn to forgive and to see that I am no better than those who have hurt me. Forgive me for where my own self-centeredness has hurt others.  Teach me to trust you even in the disappointments – bring to mind the many times and ways which you have restored my soul in the past. Thank you for longsuffering with me – and for your continued provision and mercy in my life.  In Jesus Name - AMEN”

The Lord told us in His word not to be anxious or worrisome about anything but to pray about everything, and to do so WITH THANKSGIVING, and that his peace would guard our hearts and our minds as a result.   So, honestly, I am currently trying to remember to first say three good things to the Lord, just as I am asking of our son, in order to be able to come to God with an attitude of thanksgiving even in my great need as He is asking us to do. Therefore, when I move on to delineating the things, which are “tough” for me, I am doing so in a more productive, honest, and God-honoring way.   

Cole came home just now and began with, "Mom, I had two bad things just happen, can I tell you about them?"  I said, "Sure, but before you share these two bad things, remember I want you tell me a few good things first."  He said, "OK, I had a good time going to lunch with dad and I got a toy in my happy meal."  I said, "OK, very good.  Now you may tell me the bad things."  He responded, "The first bad thing is that my toy was a plastic princess which I certainly didn't want and the other bad thing is that Maya is sleeping and I can't even give it to her now. Oh, and another good thing is that I think she'll like it - watch it spins."     

So, there it is.  I suppose its really all about perspective. Our losses can often be another's gain.  And there truly is joy in the giving.  I saw it in my son's face after all. "And that's all I got to say about that."  

Honoring our loved one with Jesus

If you've been reading my blog for a while, then you’ve probably noticed that on occasion I talk about having “heard” from God.  And once again, in this blog, I am just about to talk about this “hearing” from God; but first, I want to clarify what this "hearing" means to me. 

As far as I know, I have never actually heard God with my physical ears - at least not directly.  Certainly I have heard the words of God from the reading of the Bible or through good Biblical teaching by other people.  But when I speak about hearing from God directly I am not referring to having heard the voice of God with my own physical ears.  What I am talking about is more of a hearing with my Spirit.  And the way I know it is God is because it is something I didn’t think of on my own...something which I know couldn't have come from my own mind...and it is always something which is backed up by scripture.  I also sense a sort of "quickening" in my own spirit when the Spirit of God has spoken to my heart.  Sometimes I get clear words, other times it is just a notion, but it always comes wrapped in a sense of God's peace and love – even when it is something difficult to “hear”. 

Now -moving on to what I recently "heard" and have decided to share.

A few months back, I was struggling incredibly with the loss of my daughter Isabella!  God had been ministering to me the importance of letting go of the emotional pain in my heart and allowing God’s healing hand to minister.  I was certain that the onset of my physical heart condition was a manifestation of my emotional heart break.  I also knew God desired to heal me and to help me let go so that I would not be left with permanent damage.  He was continually reminding that there are other people whom He has entrusted to me that I must properly care for.  I had such a sense that God was calling me to let go of the pain that I was clinging to so that I could really be properly healed. But to let go of the pain seemed so dishonoring to Isabella and her memory because the pain was all I had left of her.

            So, On that day, I cried out to the Lord, “Help me to obey what you are asking of me and please help me to understand.”  And then it was as if God’s Spirit immediately began to gently minister to my heart the following “words”…

“What you do to honor Me, honors Isabella, because we are One.  This is part of the great mystery of the heavenly bride which you cannot yet understand…So, for you, for now you must choose to believe and trust Me.” 

In the heavenly realm, the Spirit and the Bride are One – They are both now saying the same thing.  Just as the earthly husband and wife are to act and be seen as one flesh, so too are the heavenly Bride and our heavenly Husband ONE!  Truly One

Since the time when God first spoke these things to my heart, I have heard them over and over again in my spirit and they have opened up a whole new world to me.  How can I honor my daughter?  I can love and forgive others….because whatever I do in obedience to God and to honor God, honors the ones who are now ONE with Him.  

Christmas is coming up, and so is Isabella’s “would be” birthday. And because of this truth which the Lord gracious shared with me, I am so aware now that it really is possible for me to present gifts to her just as I will my other children on Christmas and their birthdays.  By honoring and obeying God, I am truly blessing my daughter – as she and He are One.   When I sing praises to God, I am blessing my daughter.  When I share with the needy, I am giving to her.  When I forgive someone who hurts me, and choose not to keep a record of wrongs, I am blessing Her – because I am blessing Him.

For those of you who have people whom you have dearly loved that have passed from this world into the arms of Jesus, I want to encourage you to honor these loved ones by loving those who God is still entrusting to you here…for in doing so you are honoring both God and them…it is the great heavenly mystery of the heavenly bride and the bridegroom…they truly are One.

Labor Pains

“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” –Romans 8:18

I was just about to sit down to begin homeschooling for the day, and the doorbell rang…of course.  A well-dressed middle-aged gentleman and an older woman, also well dressed, greeted me; both were carrying pamphlets.

 “How are you ma’am?” the man began. 

I saw the pamphlets in their hands and immediately realized that they are the LDS missionaries who had left materials on my doorstep a few days prior – most likely hoping to make a Mormon convert of me. 

I answered them saying, “Very well, thank you. How can I help you?”

 The man said, “We stopped by again to talk with you about the great struggles we are facing as a nation and a way to find answers and hope in the midst.”  “With these many trials we are facing, do you have the hope of the return of Christ?”  He asked.

“Well, yes I do,” I told them.  “I got the materials you left the other day, but I’m a Christian, and I believe the Bible and in Christ’s return.”  I then explained that I would chat longer, but that I had to excuse myself because I was just about to begin home-schooling.

Before we could say good-bye, the man quickly asked, “You home-school, do you? With this world the way it is, that’s not a bad idea.”

“How old are your children?” immediately inquired the woman standing behind him. 

“Six and two,” I replied.

“Oh, so you have a little one?” she said with a gentle tone.  She then continued, “I actually think of the many trials that we are facing in this life much like the pains a woman faces in labor.  Being without hope of the return of Christ would be like going through all the months of pregnancy and the pains of childbirth but having no child to hold after all that.” 

This woman had no idea that what she had just said had literally pierced my very soul.   Could she possibly have said that?  I couldn’t believe it.  Completely stunned, I just simply answered, “Yes, right,” and then told them I really had to get to schooling. We said goodbye; and I closed the door. 

Walking into my kitchen, I began to think about all the possible ways a person can suffer…because there are innumerable different trials people can face in this life.  But this woman had mentioned the actual suffering that had been so specific to my life this very year.  

I thought about how in my own laboring to birth Isabella still-born, I had opted not to have an epidural because my sister-in-law had just had an epidural gone terribly wrong 24 hours earlier when she was in labor.  So, my most emotionally painful birth was also the most physically painful event as well.  I most certainly felt every measure of the labor pains... “Like going through all the months of pregnancy and all the pains of labor and having no child to hold after all that.” 

What in the world?  I still couldn’t believe this woman whom I had never seen before had said that TO ME – TODAY!

Beyond a shadow of a doubt, I knew that God had spoken to me through that woman.  The Word talks about how all of creation is laboring and groaning for the coming of Christ.  And because of that woman’s comment,  I finally made this connect to a how when a woman who is in labor is so longing for the coming forth of her living child, a life which will continue, a source of blessings for years to come – and that of taking hold of life in Christ. 

There in my kitchen, I realized that the suffering I had experienced in my physical life, I will never have to experience in my spiritual life.  I also realized that there are so many others who suffer in this life and labor daily here too, right along side us in this difficult life, but unlike those who are found in Christ, they will not have life to hold on to when the end of all their labor comes.   They will realize that in all their labor all that they will have birthed is death.  And all their labor will have been in vain.

On a number of occasions I have inquired of the Lord regarding this particular choice of trial that He allowed in my life.  “I know that all humans suffer here because this world is broken, but why, Lord, did you choose this particular trial for me?  If there are things you wish to show me about this please help me to hear and understand?”  Well, today through that LDS woman I heard one very clear spiritual message from Him to me, “All will labor here, but only some will have life to hold onto when all the laboring is through.” 

I am grateful that I am a part of the great laboring of the saints of the world…part of an amazing and very living hope founded in the person of Jesus Christ, who will be the greatest source of blessing for all of creation for the remainder of everlasting – and I will have eternal life to hold onto forever. 

The deferred hopes that we face in this life because of our existence in a broken and sin-filled world, we will never have to face in the world to come. Heaven will bring forth the Son of God again. He will return for His orphans, and our hope will at long last be fulfilled.  Our labor will not have been in vain. What’s more, because of the truth of his resurrection, where He conquered death on the cross, that precious baby who passed on before I had the chance to hold her in my arms has also taken hold of real and eternal life.  Praise be to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ who has made a way to overcome death and grant all who are His eternal life. 

 

 

Silent Sufferers

“He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering.” –Isa 53:3

I have recently become more aware than ever that there are a great many silent sufferers out there.  Sometimes a person suffers silently because they simply have very little opportunity to have their voices heard by others:  like orphans, or the handicapped, many of the elderly, or the poor.  There are others whose circumstances, relationships, or bodies are deteriorating so slowly that the suffering they face can go unnoticed for a very long time. There are also those whose suffering takes place completely in silence and alone because it is either emotional or mental and cannot be seen or because it is connected to something they are so ashamed about that they have not shared it with others.  

Silent sufferers are all around us, but we often miss them, at least that is until we become one of them.  It isn’t until we know what it is like to suffer silently and to have our pains go unnoticed that we finally realize that there have always been silent sufferers. It is helpful when we realize this truth to take the opportunity to admit and confess before God where we have missed opportunities to comfort and care for others in the past. 

When we are in a season of suffering, our eyes are often opened to suffering in such a way that it can seem that everyone around us is also suddenly suffering.  When we are in a state of trials ourselves, it often feels to us like the world is suddenly getting worse. Well, the truth of the matter is that people have always been suffering here.  When we stop to consider the Jewish Holocaust, the communist death camps, the Rwandan genocide, the African AIDS pandemic, and so many other far-reaching disasters and atrocities, we realize that profound and widespread suffering has always been going on.  The reason we don’t remember or really take ample notice or concern is because it was happening to someone else, somewhere else.  But when it hits home, our eyes are often opened to the reality of the suffering that is all around us and always has been.

When this happens, God can use our personal sufferings to enlarge the capacity of our hearts to show compassion to a suffering world.  But God will not make us start to care for others.  He simply invites us to care. He presents us with the opportunity for our ashes to be given to Him in exchange for something beautiful – the miracle that happens when humans begin to really care for and be kind and merciful to other humans.

Until we know how much it hurts, we just simply don’t know how much it hurts.  But when we do, we can be motivated to care for others, especially those silent sufferers, as we want others to care for us. For this is how we can be sure that our trials have not been suffered in vain… it is how we can be sure that our sorrows are not wasted. 

Comparing Suffering

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” – 2 Cor. 1:3-4

 It is very strange how we have a tendency to compare our sufferings with the sufferings of others. The characters known as “sorrow” and “suffering” lead us each down different paths that are difficult for us to understand. Sometimes our comparisons lead us to think, “My suffering is worse than yours,” and other times we decide, “My trial is certainly not as bad as his is.”

But who can possibly determine what age is the worst at which to die?  Who can say if it is better to know more or less of the realities of this life (with its many blessings and many trials)?   Are the sudden and traumatic hurricane-like trials worse than the never-ending, slowly deteriorating kinds? Is it better to be a divorced single mother or a married woman who can’t conceive?  Is it more desirable to carry scars of abuse or disease that people can see or to have scars and pains that cannot be seen?

These kinds of comparisons can only be based on what we humans see and understand with our limited natural minds.  Comparing our sufferings with those of others often leads to a misunderstanding of God’s love for us and for them.  The truth of the matter is that there will always be those who struggle more and those who struggle less. We can never truly understand all the circumstances of another’s suffering or the condition of another man’s heart. The Word actually tells us that we do not even know all that is in our own hearts, which is why we are encouraged to ask God to search our hearts and show us the sin that may be hiding within.

I wouldn’t say it is a bad thing to think about the sufferings of others. Even the book of First Peter tells us to consider the suffering of our brethren around the world.  I believe that when we are willing to do this with loving hearts, we will realize that we are not alone in our suffering.  If looked at with godly eyes, that knowledge can keep us from the downward spiral of self-pity and excessive grief and hopefully cause us to be both thankful to God and truly compassionate towards others.  So, what is the point of knowing that we are members of a larger “fellowship of the suffering”—a part of His Broken body on this earth? I think one of the points is so that we can allow our hearts of compassion to grow. And in this way become more like Jesus.  A man of sorrows acquainted with grief...a compassionate and merciful God. 

God tells us to “comfort others with the same comfort with which God has comforted us.”  We are not called to judge another man’s suffering or stand in our self-righteousness and make estimations of why another is suffering, which is what Job’s so-called friends did. Instead, God tells us to be kind and compassionate, to show mercy; and that if we choose to show this mercy, we will have mercy shown to us.  Believe me, we all need mercy—much mercy—eventually.  How can we be certain we will someday need such mercy?  Because the fate of man is still the same.  These bodies are perishing day-by-day.  If you are still here, it means not only that there are more things God has planned for you to do for His glory, but also it means that you will see more suffering, because suffering in this life is inevitable. 

So, we really ought not waste our energies by comparing our sufferings with the sufferings of others; but rather we should take the time to consider another’s sufferings and then use our energies to alleviate what suffering we are able - for such efforts have blessed and eternal results!  Maybe we could  simply stop for a moment and ask ourselves what it might be like to walk in another man’s shoes for the sake of having compassion on him. In the case of those who seem to suffer similar trials as ours, let us also consider what helped us in our own trials and seek to reach out to them with similar care.

Suffering is a given—but receiving mercy is not!   If you want more mercy, then show more mercy. If you want more comfort, then go and comfort someone else.