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January 26, 2009

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Julie in CA

I had a day like this yesterday, I just lost it on my family over shoes on the floor. I had to listen to my husband after I realized I did wrong, thankfully it was only twenty minutes at our house.

Thank you for being so transparent and sharing the hard things. I identify with your struggles since I have faced many of the same. God has shown me the scripture keys I need to battle the hard battles. I needed this reminder to use them more often than I have been lately.

Another thing, when I was thin, I thought I was fat. Now I am fat and don't think I am that fat. I really think on this side of heaven I will never have a good body image. I wish I could change that.

Jen

Oh, Kerry, you are a wonderful writer. :) I have felt like you just described several times; especially now that I'm pushing 50!
:( One child is off and married, another one is overseas doing missionary work, and then we have the high school freshman who wants to hang out with his friends all the time. I have felt so unneeded at times because it's like, "ok, now what?" I know your children are young, but I can still very much relate! I have often snapped at my husband (Ryan) for the tiniest of things, and then I've asked God to give me the words to ask Ryan to forgive me. A couple days ago, my husband broke the garbage disposal; a material thing, but I was angry at the time it happened. I huffed and puffed around the house for a couple minutes, and then he said, "Jenny, it's just a thing! We can fix it, and if we can't, we'll buy a new one!" Just those little words changed my opinion on the situation; that God showed me through my husband's words that it was just a piece of material possession that will one day rust (probably sooner rather than later)! :D Ok, I didn't realize I was rambling..sorry!

Shane

What a powerful post - written with honest humility. Thank you for sharing your tender moments. And I'm glad you learned the lesson and didn't have to lose a finger for it! =)

Jennifer Fluitt

Kerry,
I realized that I read every post you write and most never comment. Don't know why. Maybe because I feel you already get so many, why would you read mine? Well, I wanted to comment this time. I struggle with pride too in much the same way when it comes to apoligizing to my husband or to others. I have to think about it, dwell on it, replay it...it's just plain old pride and I hate it...I have always done it ever since I was a child. I'm working on it though. It's slow. I also wake up every day thinking I'm fat and uptil three months ago I weighed myself every day and had for three years. I realized it was idolatry and started weighing once a week. I have been very overweight and have lost 63 pounds with 20 left. I am pregnant so the 20 is out the window for now. I still stress about weight gain even during pregnancy. I was down a litte this morning when my scale showed I had gained four pounds this week. I hate struggling with it and am so grateful that when I am in Heaven with the Lord that it won't even be an issue. Anyhow, thanks for you honesty and humbleness.

Joni in MN

Kerry ~ finger soup is MY recipe ;-) LOL j/k
Once again I relate... (see my blog tomorrow). I'm grinning that for some reason I JUST KNOW Scott has already forgiven you by this time! :-) I'm sitting here listening to the NEW CompassionArt CD that arrived TODAY!!!

Jen ~ I also luv your writings!

Peace, Joy & Love to all,
~Joni

Diane

OUCH!!!! This post was painfilled in many ways. But, what I loved most about it was we all walk this journey together, if we are honest about it. Many mornings my family has dealt with a grumbling Mama. I am thankful our Father loves us tremendously to work through those who love us to love us even more, seems to help me really see God clearly through my family when they have this unconditional, forgiving love. How much more our Father must love us!!!

Great post, Kerry, sorry about the finger, but, happy to hear your children liked the "chicken finger" soup!! ; )

Diane

Me again:) I just wanted to share a personal journey with you, Kerry, and, I suppose those who might want to read. I could relate to your fear of wanting more children, desperately, and not knowing what might lay ahead. After two miscarriages, I would cry out to God with my prayer of wanting to be a Mama again. I prayed, and cried, I cried and prayed. In those moments I knew God heard me, but, I just was so uncertain as to His answer to my prayer. In His time He revealed His answer to my prayer....not one, but, three times He answered. The way He lined up our family to walk into adoption was all created by His Hands. His will was to guide my family through the Miracle of adoption. Three times He journeyed us to China!!! He knew all along the desires of my heart, He knew.

Patience was never, still is not my strongest strength:), but, one thing I have learned through this journey is God is the bigger picture. He will knock you over with what amazing Miracles He has planned for your family!!! He already knows them:)

Maggie

Kerry,

AS I read your post, I remembered a song from my childhood. I don't know if these videos still are in production, but Psalty the Singing Song Book had/has a series of videos on many things from the Bible. The song that came to mind goes something like this:

I cast all my cares upon you.
I lay all of my burdens down at your feet.
And anytime I don't know what to do, I will cast all my cares upon you.

Sometimes we are not aware of our cares. I have realized, in my marriage, that the days that I am in a funk and can't pin point it, my husband is just as affected. So often as the result of me lashing out or from finding me in tears with no real way to explain. I too, must remember that I should take it to the Lord,cast all my cares upon Him. He is so faithful!

Debbie from Ohio

Thanks for sharing and being honest and showing all of us that you are human too.

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