Honoring those with Jesus

“As the Scriptures say, ‘A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one.” –Ephesians 5:31-32

I have found that the easiest way for me to keep on going when the road gets very steep is by keeping the end goal in mind.  And this requires a continual shifting of my perspective from an earthly one to a heavenly one. “Set your mind on things of heaven…” (Colossians 3:2a). Keeping the heavenly perspective is difficult for us earthbound folks.  The loss of my daughter this past January has forced me to ask God to make heaven more real to me.

It was Easter Sunday and I was struggling incredibly with the loss of Isabella!  God had been ministering to me the importance of letting go of the emotional pain in my heart and allowing His healing hand to touch my inmost parts.  I was certain that my new physical heart condition that began when I was first told she had died was at some level a manifestation of my emotional heartbreak.      

I had read a published letter that the old Puritan Pastor, Samuel Rutherford, had written to his friend who had lost her son.  In the letter he told her to cease from continually recalling the circumstances surrounding her son’s death because it was causing her heart greater harm.  When I read this, I was certain that God was addressing me.  God was continually reminding that I have a husband and two other children entrusted to me for whom I must properly care.  I know God wanted me to honor Him by obeying what He was showing me to do, but letting go of the pain seemed so dishonoring to Isabella because the pain was all I had left of her.   

So, on that resurrection day, I cried out to the Lord, “Help me to obey you, help me to understand.”  And then it was as if God’s Spirit immediately began to gently minister to my heart, showing me that, whatever I do to honor God honors Isabella because they have been united in heavenly glory—they are together, they are one.  He reminded me that this is all part of the great mystery of the heavenly bride which I can not yet fully understand, but I knew that He was showing me that for now I must choose to simply believe and trust Him. 

It resonated with what I already knew to be true of the Word.  In the heavenly realm, the Spirit and the Bride are together, and they are both saying the same thing and being blessed by the same things.  In the last chapter of the last book of the Bible, we actually find the Spirit and the Bride of Christ speaking with one voice saying to all who can hear, “Come!” (Rev. 22:17).  Just as the earthly husband and wife are to act and be seen as one flesh, so too are the heavenly Bride and our heavenly Husband one!

I am grateful for the time I have before me in this life to give good gifts to the two children I am currently raising, but I am saddened that I do not have more time to give human gifts to the two who have already gone on to be with Jesus. God has consoled me in this sadness as well by continually reminding me that whenever I praise and honor Jesus with the actions of my life, I am honoring and giving heavenly gifts to my daughters who are already with Him, and I desire to give gifts to all of my children!   

After being confronted with eternity, I realized that there are only three things which I know to be eternal:  God, His Word, and the souls of Men; and so, I now seek all the more to pour into those things which are eternal.  The eternal realm is the place where I can connect with my beloved daughters. As I have stepped out in obedience, I have experienced God’s healing for my heart, not just emotionally, but also physically. So as I choose to forgive and practice sacrificial love to those around me, as I give generously with a joyful heart to the things that matter to God, as I seek to read and live out His Word, as I praise Him even in the storms, and as I unclench my fists and lay my aching heart before Him for healing, I know that I am honoring God as well as my loved ones, who have passed on before me, even my own children who are with Jesus.

*Special note: Please pray for Dennis Rainey’s (FamilyLife Today) daughter Rebecca and her husband Jake who are parents to their 7 day old daughter, Molly, who was born very sick and is heading home to be with Jesus.

Comments

[Suzanne]

Thank you for encouraging me today with this heavenly perspective. The Rainey family will be in my prayers.

[SG]

God has been speaking to me through all your writing here...in amazing ways. He is mixing your words along with pain in life my to teach me things I've been so dull to before. Thank You. And praise Him. He connects us together and we truly are one in Him. Your words about being ONE have spoken so clearly. Someday in heaven we will actually realize it fully.

another note: My heart is burdened to pass this email on I received today. Another family is experiencing the same tragedy as the Chapmans. The email follows:

I just hung up the phone from a call I never wanted to receive. Heather, a mother to 10 is asking us to pray for her family. Yesterday her 15-year-old daughter, Rachel, was using the car on their property to run an errand for her mother. She put the car in reverse but didn't see her 14-month-old baby sister and the unthinkable happened; Hannah Bryant slipped from this life to Heaven's glory.

As Heather was talking and I was crying I was struck by the irony of the fact that Heather, the bereaved mother, was proclaiming His Sovereignty to me in the midst of her pain. She knows where her baby is and that God is in control.

At a time like this I feel strapped for words. I know there is no such thing as words of comfort unless they are His. The first that comes to my mind is found in Jeremiah 33:3 where it says:

"Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know."

God is a God of unexplainable outcomes. He turns the impossible into answers that are, well, incomprehensible.
For those of us who belong to Jesus Christ, there is something called prayer that brings all the power of God Himself down to where we can use it. That is why Heather called me; she wants the comfort of knowing that other believers are holding them up in prayer. She believes that prayer works and she knows they need it.

There's a vivid picture of both powerlessness and power in Mark 5:24 where we read about the woman who had bled for 12 years. She had suffered and tried everything to no avail. Her need was too great for anyone or anything on earth. But the Bible tells us that:

"when she heard about Jesus, she came up behind Him in the crowd and touched the cloak, because she thought, 'If I just touch His clothes, I will be healed.' Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering."

Only one thing brought a solution - desperately lunging for Jesus, believing His authority and power were greater than her massive need. Heather and her family believe that Jesus is the only comfort that will heal their hurt and the only strength that will bear them through the Valley of the Shadow of Death.

Ladies, we have a weapon at our disposal that will win the battle. Heather is reaching out to us in desperate pain. She is asking you to lift her family up to your all-powerful Lord. Will you please join me in praying as you have maybe never prayed before?

Pray for the Lord to give you His heart for how to pray for this family. Pray specifically for:

Rachel, for her to banish guilt and rest in the peace that passes understanding
The other 8 children as they deal with this tragedy and the day to day reality of life without their baby sister
For Barry, the father as he prepares to lead a memorial service for Hannah on Sunday
For Heather, the mama for her heart to instantly turn to Him for comfort when waves of sorrow wash over her
For the entire family to lean on Him and to actually feel His presence as He walks alongside them grieving too

I believe, and Heather believes, that God is their refuge. Please pray for their strength and their comfort in the days ahead.

If you would like to write to the Bryants please use this address:

The Bryants
c/o Eglon Community Church
33690 Eglon Rd NE
Kingston, WA 98346

[Corie O'Brien]

Thank you SOOO much. This is exactly what I need to hear. I continue to struggle with the loss of my son in Januray. Celebrations are hard. I can totally relate to having to go forward for the family you have and yet feeling like you are not honoring the life of my son. Thank you, Thank you. I will definitly come back to this post as I continue to have ups and downs. I know that He is walking with me each step of the way. I continue to pray for you Kerry. Thank you for ministering to others through your blog with your clear and honest words.

[Misty and Sarah]

Kerry~
I needed to hear this today on behalf of a friend of mine. Her son passed away about 2 months ago and she like you was holding on to the pain, that is all she has left of him. She needs the Lord, she need physical and spiritual healing. Thank you for your words of encouragement. I will pass this along to her. I pray that it will be a stepping stone towards healing.
In Him~ Misty Peterson
www.iwillkissyoufortwo.com
The Love of Adoption~

[kathy naylor]

I am so encouraged by the blogs of yours and Mr Houser's. I know God will lead those who need to read and know His all sufficiency for such circumstances past, present, or future. As I read, I sense I have been into milk while others are into meat. What a gift, your sharing the hard sought insight God has shared with you. Thank you.

[Linda & Bob Shoemate]

Thank you, Kerry. We lost our oldest son in January 2003 and our youngest (fourth) son in May 2004. I have other children both at home and grown, but I still go in and out of grieving. Sometimes I feel as if all my joy is just gone, but then there are the other times when I am reminded that my three daughters from China would probably not be with us if we had not gone through much pain and searched in earnest for God's will.

As a sidenote, we brought home our first adopted daughter just nine weeks after burying our little son. We rode on the same plane as the Chapmans when they were returning with Maria. We were lousy company, but they were very kind. I have thought often of their family, and I have grieved over Maria as if she were one of my own. I am so thankful that death will not enter into heaven with us.

[Christine Perin]

Kerry,
I happened across your blog while revisiting Shaohannah's Hope. I too lost my baby boy in Jan. Every thing was perfect, then he was no more. I can totally relate to what you have been talking about. I know that God has blessed me with a wonderful son I have the honor to raise and a sweet loving husband. But that does not make the celebrations easier. I know that I have struggled with knowing in my heart that God is sovereign and His plans are good, but it is still not fair that I am not able to hold Micah! Now that we have started the adoption process, I am starting to see some of God's plan unfolding, but the pain of the loss and unknown is very hard to grasp at times. Thank you for your openness and perspective.