The Scars of Jesus

"Truly you are a God who hides himself, O God and Savior of Israel." –Isaiah 45:15

I am re-posting an old blog with new edits/updates, perhaps it is for some of you but probably more so for me.  Because the story I am again sharing is that which has kept me going in my own dark night of the soul.  It was the one experience I had with God which has made His existance and His love undeniable for me - even in my darkest valleys since!  An Ebennezer stone of sorts.   

Several years ago, God spoke to my heart about an emancipated foster youth with whom I was working, a Rwandan girl who had survived the genocide, and said, "Love this one as your own, and watch Me." I didn't understand, but I reluctantly tried to do my best. This young girl, Nyanja, had been told her parents died during the Rwandan genocide in 1994, when she was eight years old.  She ended up alone as a refugee in the States and grew up in US foster care.   After ten years had past, she still wanted to return to her homeland and search to see if she had any living relatives. When my organization took a trip to Rwanda along with government and business leaders, I was burdened to take her with me.

While in Rwanda, she was the only one who saw the needs of those around us with the compassion of Jesus.  We would "tour" around, but she would reach out to anyone she could.  She knew anyone she met could have been a distant relative or even her immediate family.  Finally, I agreed to take leave of the group and search for her parents, and while we were driving around I heard God say again in my Spirit "Watch Me."

We passed a group of children playing, and she cried out, "I think he's my brother!" I said, "I'm so sorry, but you don't have a younger brother. Remember, you only had an older sister and an older brother."  I really felt she might be going crazy or something.  And yet she replied indignantly, "Well, I must have a younger brother, because he looks just like me!" So, I agreed to take his picture before continuing our search. We then drove around some more and stopped to inquire with a group of people; and low and behold, they knew someone who knew someone and in no time my friend was crying and embracing her older sister. "I can't believe it's you!" her sister cried. "Mom and dad are alive! Our older brother was killed during the genocide, but mom had been pregnant then, and we have a little brother!" Sure enough, it was the very same boy we had seen earlier.

Her parents were being unjustly held in jail, so we went to the prison to find them. My young friend had not seen her mother since she was 8 years old, and more than ten years had passed. When the warden brought in her mother, she cried out repeatedly, "Mamma, mamma, mamma!" And her mother, holding back the tears, said, "No… No.  It can't be you…I have already mourned the death of my daughter!" Then, as her mother came closer, she cried out, "Wait… it is you! I knew that if someone day I found my daughter, I would recognize you by the scar on your face which you got as a child!"

And just as I began to wonder what I was doing witnessing something so intimate and holy, God whispered to my heart, "Just as my people will know me by my scars…" That moment stands out as perhaps the most profound experience I have ever had with my Savior, my Friend, and my God. I felt like the apostle Thomas—as if I was touching the scars of Jesus with my own fingers. 

Every step along the way we have seen miracles and have had the opportunity to stand amazed at God's work. Her mother and her father have since been declared innocent and released from jail.  They spent 14 years in prison without a trial and as it turns out completely innocent! 

As for that dear girl who found her parents, Nyanja, she is now living with her parents and working in Rwanda - working to try and improve the care for orphans there.  The journey is certainly not over for this family nor for any of us.   And in the midst of the joys and the wonder, the headaches and the heartaches, we continue to see God's hand as He reveals more of Himself and His treasures to us. God has said, "If you seek me with all your heart you shall surely find me." God is waiting for us amidst the poor, the needy, and the orphan, waiting to reveal His miracles and Himself—treasures hidden in the darkness.

When I lost my daughter in January, I received an email from Nyanja's father in Africa, who had only be out of prison a few weeks at that point.  His email was an incredible source of comfort for me.  This family had known suffering which I could not even imagine - they had lost two sons and two daughters and were held unjustly in prison for so many years; and yet, they were not angry or bittner, not with men nor with God.  Meeting this family was not only a secret hidden treasure for Nyanja but also for me.  Little did I know how much I would soon be needing their living example of surviving with grace.

"Truly you are a God who hides himself, O God and Savior of Israel." –Isaiah 45:15

I am re-posting an old blog with new edits/updates, perhaps it is for some of you but probably more so for me.  Because the story I am again sharing is that which has kept me going in my own dark night of the soul.  It was the one experience I had with God which has made His existance and His love undeniable for me - even in my darkest valleys since!  An Ebennezer stone of sorts.   

Several years ago, God spoke to my heart about an emancipated foster youth with whom I was working, a Rwandan girl who had survived the genocide, and said, "Love this one as your own, and watch Me." I didn't understand, but I reluctantly tried to do my best. This young girl, Nyanja, had been told her parents died during the Rwandan genocide in 1994, when she was eight years old.  She ended up alone as a refugee in the States and grew up in US foster care.   After ten years had past, she still wanted to return to her homeland and search to see if she had any living relatives. When my organization took a trip to Rwanda along with government and business leaders, I was burdened to take her with me.

While in Rwanda, she was the only one who saw the needs of those around us with the compassion of Jesus.  We would "tour" around, but she would reach out to anyone she could.  She knew anyone she met could have been a distant relative or even her immediate family.  Finally, I agreed to take leave of the group and search for her parents, and while we were driving around I heard God say again in my Spirit "Watch Me."

We passed a group of children playing, and she cried out, "I think he's my brother!" I said, "I'm so sorry, but you don't have a younger brother. Remember, you only had an older sister and an older brother."  I really felt she might be going crazy or something.  And yet she replied indignantly, "Well, I must have a younger brother, because he looks just like me!" So, I agreed to take his picture before continuing our search. We then drove around some more and stopped to inquire with a group of people; and low and behold, they knew someone who knew someone and in no time my friend was crying and embracing her older sister. "I can't believe it's you!" her sister cried. "Mom and dad are alive! Our older brother was killed during the genocide, but mom had been pregnant then, and we have a little brother!" Sure enough, it was the very same boy we had seen earlier.

Her parents were being unjustly held in jail, so we went to the prison to find them. My young friend had not seen her mother since she was 8 years old, and more than ten years had passed. When the warden brought in her mother, she cried out repeatedly, "Mamma, mamma, mamma!" And her mother, holding back the tears, said, "No… No.  It can't be you…I have already mourned the death of my daughter!" Then, as her mother came closer, she cried out, "Wait… it is you! I knew that if someone day I found my daughter, I would recognize you by the scar on your face which you got as a child!"

And just as I began to wonder what I was doing witnessing something so intimate and holy, God whispered to my heart, "Just as my people will know me by my scars…" That moment stands out as perhaps the most profound experience I have ever had with my Savior, my Friend, and my God. I felt like the apostle Thomas—as if I was touching the scars of Jesus with my own fingers. 

Every step along the way we have seen miracles and have had the opportunity to stand amazed at God's work. Her mother and her father have since been declared innocent and released from jail.  They spent 14 years in prison without a trial and as it turns out completely innocent! 

As for that dear girl who found her parents, Nyanja, she is now living with her parents and working in Rwanda - working to try and improve the care for orphans there.  The journey is certainly not over for this family nor for any of us.   And in the midst of the joys and the wonder, the headaches and the heartaches, we continue to see God's hand as He reveals more of Himself and His treasures to us. God has said, "If you seek me with all your heart you shall surely find me." God is waiting for us amidst the poor, the needy, and the orphan, waiting to reveal His miracles and Himself—treasures hidden in the darkness.

When I lost my daughter in January, I received an email from Nyanja's father in Africa, who had only be out of prison a few weeks at that point.  His email was an incredible source of comfort for me.  This family had known suffering which I could not even imagine - they had lost two sons and two daughters and were held unjustly in prison for so many years; and yet, they were not angry or bittner, not with men nor with God.  Meeting this family was not only a secret hidden treasure for Nyanja but also for me.  Little did I know how much I would soon be needing their living example of surviving with grace.

Comments

[Cindi M.]

What a beautiful post! Thanks for sharing. I think God wants so much to be "found" by us so He can show us magnificent things.

[Kelby]

This is an amazing story and I love the "picture" I get of God, the Father in my head when I think of Him saying "Love this one as your own and watch me". The next time I feel hesitant to follow His prodding, I'm going to remember that phrase and that vision, and I'm going to accept His challenge with all that I have. Thank you for sharing this beautiful story.

[Corie O'Brien]

Thank you for sharing such an incredible story. A great story to remind me daily of hope, trust and perserverence to a greater end in the midst of so much suffering and sadness. To God be the Glory.

[Amy D.]

Thank you so MUCH for your blogs, Kerry.

[nicole]

Dear Kerry,

A few years back I was preparing to give a witness talk on a retreat, and was a little reluctant about the vulnerability of that kind of honesty.

Right before the retreat I ran into a friend at church who asked if I had ever thought about why Christ retained the crucifixion wounds on his hands, feet and side on His resurrected body. She said to me, "He kept the wounds so they would become a source of grace and faith for others."

That one comment has stuck with me in a powerful way since then. I agree that it is not only the good that we do but the wounds that Christ heals that proclaim our faith in Jesus. Our scars are proof that "it is not the healthy who need the doctor, but the sick" and remind me how much I need my Savior.

God bless you Kerry,

sincerely,
nicole

ps. I was in Rwanda in 2003, and am absolutely astounded by your story... Have you read "Left to Tell"? It is written by a woman named Immaculée Ilibagiza. I think you would be so moved by this book if you haven't read it already.

[Stacey Clark]

Kerry,
I feel a kindred spirit from you as I read your blogs. I am encouraged and walk away with such peace when I read about the wonderful things that God speaks to you about. I too am the wife and my husband and I have worked in the youth field for over 15 years now and I have realized in the short time that I have been living that I can not touch another person's life until I myself have walked down the hard paths that this life can bring. How can I touch a hungry soul if I myself have not been hungry? Thanks be to the Lord Jesus Christ for every trial for it is then that this world can see Jesus through us, we are HIS hands, we are HIS feet, we are HIS people, children of the Lord." A wonderfully old yet so profound song. I would love to keep in touch with you on a more personal level; we are sisters/daughters of the king. Keep reaching, keep teaching, and keep posting your thoughts and experiences; it is more of a blessing than you will ever know.
Your sister,
stacey.clark@phoenix.edu

[Linda & Bob Shoemate]

Thank you for re-telling your story. It is a beautiful story of God's faithfulness to a once orphaned child and does indeed speak of His great love.

[Lee Ann Brown]

I love the thought of surviving with grace...I pray that people will see that in me. Thank you again for posting so many things I need to hear. You have been a blessing to me this week.

[Deb]

I first heard part of this story from you about 18 months ago, and have shared it with so many people. It is an incredible story about God's amazing grace as evidenced by His caring shown in this family's life. I am so grateful to learn more about this family, and their continued walk with Him. I am also grateful and humbled by watching Him continue to weave threads of hope through the relationships He has given to His children. There are no coincidences; He wove Nyanja's family's life into yours for a purpose. Praise Him in all things!

[Beka]

I was reading this via cell phone yesterday on my way home from a special week long church event 6 hours away. When I got to the part about Nyanja's scars and the scars of Jesus, I just gasped "wow!" out loud.

I used to think it was amazing how the workings and mysteries of God parallel real life, but then I realized that I was wrong. It's life that parallels God. For Him to give us miracles, and to show us brief glimpses of Himself, it's all for us to know Him better. What a God of love He is. Thank you for sharing this story.

[Brooke Burns]

For a long time, I struggled with the fact that the scars on Jesus are still visible. If I were honest, I was somewhat angry that they were still there just as I was angry mine were still there even after many years of healing from the wounds inflicted in my childhood. So, when asked to share my testimony to a large gathering, I shared with a close friend and seminary professor my thoughts about this. He said: "You must know that just like Jesus, your scars are radiant scars. They draw men unto Him and are used to bring healing." The scars of Jesus-bring hope, healing and new life! The scar on Nyanja brought hope, healing and new life! He does the same with our scars when we surrender them to His. Amazing!

[Tanya Robinson]

I have to ask....does this story have anything to do with a certain "Beautiful Scars" song?