The Challenge to Forgive

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  -Colosians 3:13

A few days ago, I wrote about how I witnessed the reunion of a Rwandese orphan and her biological parents who had been separated for more than ten years.  In that writing, I told the details of her reunion with her mother; but in this one, I would like to tell about her reunion with her father. For those who have not read that blog, I will briefly recap for the sake of context.

From the time Nyanja was 8 years old she had been told that her parents and her siblings had died in the Rwandan genocide.  All these years her parents were convinced that she too was dead. Through a series of miracles, God led this young girl and me to come from the United States, where she had lived as a refugee for more than ten years, and travel to Rwanda and ultimately find her parents in a Rwandese prison.

As you can imagine, the reunion was extremely emotional.  They were all in total shock to see each other alive.  They embraced briefly in front of the prison warden.  The father then gently led his child to sit down straight across from him so that they could see one another face to face. Then he spoke to her, “Child, I am so grateful you are alive! How did you get here?  How did you find me?” 

She began crying and talking very quickly, “Father, You would never believe all that I had to go thru to get to you…During the genocide I was rescued by a UN worker and I ended up in a refugee camp in Kenya with mom’s brother and grandmother.”  She said how her one comfort, her Grandmother, had died in the camp, and how she wished that she too had died there.  She then began delineating the many pains she faced living as a child refugee in the United States. But when she started to tell of specific people who had hurt and abused her along the way, her father stopped her from speaking and said, “My child you are alive! I, too, am alive!  We are here together.  All that is necessary now is forgiveness.  Forgive and let go of all those things which happened to you in the past and keep living!”

The meeting was cut short by the warden and they were forced to part having no idea if they would ever see one another again. She returned to America and they remained in prison. Last December, which is four years after this reunion took place, her parents were finally released from the Rwandan prison which had held them for the last 14 years. When the father and his wife were finally given their day in court, they were both found completely NOT GUILTY of all charges!  So, the 14 years they had served in that prison separated from their children and being held as innocent men was a complete injustice. 

It took me quite some time to understand why her father would say what he did and not have more pity on his daughter. But what I have since come to see is that what this father was sharing with his precious daughter was the greatest secret of all!  Her father not only wanted his daughter to survive but to heal from her journey having had to climb these treacherous mountains of pain for so many years.  Forgiveness brings healing; bitterness and hate bring more pain to the ravaged soul.

I believe that like this man, God will say similar things to us on that day when we finally are reunited with Him, our Heavenly Father, and when we, too, can look at him face to face, “My child, you are alive! I, too, am alive! We are together. Now, all that is necessary is forgiveness.  Forgive and let go of all those things which happened in the past and let us keep living!”

This father shared with his child the greatest wisdom he knew to be true. It was the very thing which had kept him all these years – the necessity to forgive…to forgive those who had stolen His land, to forgive those who had him and his wife imprisoned without cause, to forgive those who held them without a trial for 14 years separate from their children, and even to forgive those who killed his first born son.

Those who have forgiven are those who are able to teach forgiveness. How can we teach forgiveness, if we haven’t practiced it?  Forgiveness is the main key which unlocks the door of healing for so many of us.  And it is also the key which unlocks the door of healing for the orphan.  Far too many of them have been hurt, abused, abandoned, neglected, and broken not only by those who have oppressed and terrified them, but by us who have neglected to properly care for them.   The goal isn’t just to take them in, but to help them heal so that they too can become functioning members of their communities and ultimately pillars in the temple of God as well!

Forgiveness has not come easy in Nyanja’s case because the wounds inflicted were very deep, but I have witnessed this special young lady choose to go to Jesus with her hurts over and over again.  And as a result I have also seen the Lord bless her, lift her up and give her great peace and joy since that time.  Just this month, she has returned to Rwanda to work with orphans and to live with her parents at last.

Comments

[Beka]

It really is a challenge, isn't it? I mean, it's hard to forgive for the trivial things, much less for what I'D consider a big thing. And yet, for these people to be able to look at others who have done them immeasurable wrong, and FORGIVE...it blows my mind. How can anyone see this in action and not KNOW Christ's power...this does convict me to be a better witness by making sure that I forgive better myself.

[Misty and Sarah]

Kerry~
I am always inspired by the words that you write. God has poured himself out through you!
I will be going to China this fall for a orphan/adoption care mission trip to the Phillip Hayden foundation. I thought that it would be great to use some of your blog entries for our daily devotions and discussion time.
You are amazing...In Christ.
Blessings~
Misty Peterson
www.iwillkissyoufortwo.com

[Debbie from Ohio]

Thank you for sharing that. I just told someone yesterday who is upset over a situation that, "FORGIVENESS IS A HARD PILL TO SWALLOW." We need to do it for our own good and because it's the right thing to do; it's not always easy. Then today, I read your blog and what is it about?...Forgiveness! God bless you!

[Jenny]

Thank you so much. I am struggling to forgive this morning. I need to be reminded that I have been forgiven...and that my forgiveness will flow from that. Your words are healing to me today.

[Stacey Clark]

Thank you Keey for this wonderful truth that is so hard sometimes to do. I wanted to share a short story with you of the power of forgiveness. My husband and I are the youth leaders of our church and had to recently approach one of our young ladies who were continually making fun of the other kids in the youth group, causing much hurt for the new kids that were trying to find Jesus. We went to her in love and what we recieved in response was a very angry young lady who told us that she hated us and that we were not to tell her what to do. Needless to say our hearts were broken as we walked away knowing that we did the right thing however it did not go as we had hoped. For over a year she never spoke a word to us again and you could feel the hate and rebellion eluminating from her. We prayed and left it in the hands of the Lord because our words could not help her. During this time she was miserable not only with herself but everyone around her. We continued to pray!! Two weeks ago I was worshiping in church with my hands raised and the wonderful tears of joy were flowing down my cheeks as I got a tap on the shoulder. I opened my eyes to a very broken young lady sobbing and asking me to forgive her. I reached out my arms and wrapped them around her and told her how much I loved her and cared for her and that we never stopped praying! My son later said, "mom have you noticed how happy Ashley is and how nice she is to us now?" I said, "Nathan that is the power of forgiveness, when you forgive it looses you from the bondage of bitterness and hate. That is why it is so important to forgive, no matter what." He smiled and I could see on his face how real God has become to him since witnessing this miracle. Thank you Kerry for sharing this wonderful story of forgiveness. I wrote down on a sticky note to hang on my computer the powerful words of this father. "Forgive and let go of all those things which happened to you in the past and keep living!”
I will share this with my children and all of those with whom I have the opportunity to minister to.

[Kim]

Dear Kerry,
As I was reading your blog (as I find myself doing so often now) my children 12 and 14 got into a fight and were very angry with each other. My son walked into my room to tell me how badly he was being treated by his sister and how upset he was about it. I asked him to sit down and I read him this story of forgiveness. Thank you. The Lord continues to use your posts to challenge and encourage me (and my family).