My Cup Runneth Over

If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” I John 1:8-9

Growing up, my mother taught me a great deal about the importance of seeing my own sin and confessing it to God in order to continue to live in freedom.  She explained that although it is true that once we are saved by grace through faith in the work of Jesus on the cross, God deems us sinless in the heavenly realm, but that in reality we are still sinning plenty while we are still living in our earthly bodies here on earth.   Someone only has to be a Christian for a short time to know experientially that it doesn't mean we go on to be sinless practically speaking.   As believers we unfortunately sin against one another and against God a tremendous amount.  Spend time in any given body of believers and it is easy to see that God may see us as perfect through His Son, but we act and are in reality far from perfect. It explains in the book of First John that those who claim they are without sin are the ones who are actually without the truth of God. Even those who have the truth in them, sadly still sin and are in need of continual cleansing and forgiveness from our faithful God.  We are all still in need of daily cleansing for our sake and for the sake of others around us.  

I can remember countless conversations with my mom as a youth talking to her about those who had hurt me at school.  In every case my mother would focus on what part I played in the situation with my friends at school.  And after talking for a bit she would always seem to help me see some part my sin had played in the situation and something which I needed to take to Jesus in confession.  She wasn't saying that others had not also been wrong or harmed me.  She was simply saying that the sin of others is for God to take care of and that it is her job as my mother to help me see my own sin so that I can be cleansed and free.   

I can clearly remember on this one occasion coming home and telling her that a girlfriend had hurt me really badly and this time I did absolutely nothing wrong at all.  She replied, "then Kerry it is a time to forgive."  I thought, "You have got to be kidding me!" I told her that I didn't want to forgive because I had done nothing wrong.  Somehow the idea of going to God was only necessary because I had sinned.  But this time, I hadn't.  Mom then shared with me that if I do not forgive as Jesus forgave me then I will still be harming myself.  She encouraged me to go to Jesus in prayer and ask him to help me to want to forgive.  She said, 'start with as many "wants" as you need and each time you pray remove the word "want" until you actually get to the point of really wanting to forgive."  

So, up to my room I went, 8 years old mind you, and I began to pray. "Lord Jesus, help me to want, to want, to want, to want, to want, to want, to forgive..." and on it went, removing more words each time.  Until, eventually I did want to forgive.  At some level God had changed my heart and at some level I just wanted to be done praying this prayer and go and play. 

But, honestly, that experience had a most profound and positive impact on me.  It gave me the surest path to continually find true inner peace and healing even in the greatest of hurts and pains caused by others. 

In my adulthood, I read a book which really summarized much of my mother's teaching, entitled Calvary Road.  I want to share just a couple truths I found therein.   

In the late 1940's Norman Grubb wrote what I believe are some critical truths for those in search of such inner healing and personal spiritual revival in a broken world. Grubb writes, "Revival is first personal....It is the constant experience of any simplest Christian who "walks in the light." But I saw that walking in the light means an altogether new sensitiveness to sin, a calling things by their proper name of sin, such as pride, hardness, doubt, fear, self-pity, which are often passed over as merely human reaction. It means a readiness to "break" and confess at the feet of Him who was broken for us, for the Blood does not cleanse excuses, but always cleanses sin, confessed as sin; then revival is just the daily experience of a soul full of Jesus and running over."

Roy Hessions then follows up in his work Calvary Road with these words,  "All we have to do is present our empty, broken self and let Him fill and keep filled...My cup runneth over, this is revival-the constant peace of God ruling in our hearts because we are full to overflowing ourselves and sharing it with others.  People imagine that dying to self makes one miserable. But it is just the opposite. It is the refusal to die to self that makes one miserable. The more we know of death with Him, the more we shall know of His life in us, and so the more of real peace and joy.  Only one thing prevents Jesus filling our cups as He passes by, and this is sin in one of its thousand forms.  The Lord Jesus does not fill dirty cups. Anything that springs from self, however small it may be, is sin.  Self-energy or self-complacency in service is sin.  Self-pity in trials or difficulties, self-seeking in business or Christian work, self-indulgence in one's spare time, sensitiveness, touchiness, resentment and self-defense when we are hurt or injured by others, self-consciousness, reserve, worry, and fear, all spring from self and all are sin and make our cups unclean.  But all of them were put into that other cup, which the Lord Jesus shrank from momentarily in  Gethsemane, but which He drank to the dregs at Calvary-  the cup of our sin.... The moment you are conscious of that touch of envy, criticism, irritability' whatever it is - ask Jesus to cover it with His precious blood and cleanse it away and you will find the reaction gone, your joy and peace restored, and your cup running over." 

 My grandmother wore a golden nugget around her neck and she told me that the nugget represented sin which had been found in her heart. She told me that the finding of it is as good as gold because now it can be taken to the cross and given in exchange for forgiveness and the freedom and joy which comes from being cleansed. I grew up with this teaching and it has served me greatly all of my days so far; and the use of it has been my pathway to continued joy and the ability to still love life while living in such a broken world.  

Comments

[Debbie from Ohio]

I enjoyed reading this so much! What awesome truth's are in this writing! Thank you for sharing it with us and reminding us of these truth's. God bless

[Sarah Skees]

Thank you so much. I really needed to hear this. You put it in a way that I've never heard before... in a way that makes so much sense! Wow.

[casey chappell]

Someone told me about your blog and about your loss this year. I just gave birth to my firstborn son last week and he lived a minute long. It's been really hard but God has been so faithful and good to us. Your words have been very soothing and truth imparting. Thank you for being faithful to write and to be so biblically sound. His word really is the only thing that brings healing and change.
I don't know you but I am grateful to God for you! I linked some of your posts to my blog on the side for others to benefit from if that's okay.
Blessings,
Casey from Raleigh NC

[Kerry Hasenbalg]

Dear Casey,

I am so terribly sorry for the loss of your precious son! I am so sorry! My heart is grieving for you and I am praying for you! Kerry

[Jennifer]

Kerry,

I have been reading for a long time, but just never commented. I am always so blessed and encouraged when I read and wow, what a gift of writing you have. Do you read Angie Smith's blog? She is Todd Smith's wife who sings with Selah. When I read hers I think of the loss you have experienced as well. Both of you are walking oh so similar roads and write so beautifully from your heart. You would love each other's blogs. Hers is audreycaroline.blogspot.com. You will weep as you go back and read from the beginning. She lives in Nashville too which is so weird that two very similar people, live so close and might not even know each other. You're a blessings. Praying for your dear family.