Connected in Time

"For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest. A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up. A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance. A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones. A time to embrace and a time to turn away. A time to search and a time to quit searching. A time to keep and a time to throw away. A time to tear and a time to mend. A time to be quiet and a time to speak. A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace." Ecc. 3:1-8 

When Chuck Colson spoke at the Shaohannah's Hope banquet last year he said the following words, "You are only as happy as your saddest child." And the response from the audience was a synchronized sigh indicating full agreement and experiential understanding by many. When we are deeply connected to others and are vested in their happiness, such as the natural relationship between a parent and child, we cannot help but be sad in their sadness and grieve when they grieve. 

As a young person growing up, I rarely remember hurting for others. If life was going my way, then I was happy. When something went wrong in my life I would be sad, or angry, or hurt. I was affected primarily by those things that affected me most directly. Most difficulties in the lives of others seemed "far" from me and thus affected me very little. And when I would hear or read that third chapter of Ecclesiastes, I would quickly identify the "time" I was "in" as if this was all that was going on in the world. If I was in a relationship that God was calling me out of, I would decide that it was a "time" to "refrain from embracing." If I had just lost a competition, gotten my feelings hurt, or lost someone I loved, I would decide that it was simply a time to "cry" and a time to 'die." As if this was all that was going on in the world. 

Now that I am older, the happenings of life seem much "broader" for me at any given time. As a result of my perspective and world-view being lived within a family, a community and the greater body of Christ worldwide, I have realized that I am only one member of a much larger body. Now that I am older and am able to see the invisible “ties that bind” us all together, I also see all these different "times" referenced in the third chapter of Ecclesiastes as happening all at the same time, nearly all the time in “my family” – that is in “His family”. And it seems to me that the more I grow in my relationship with Jesus Christ, the more I find myself deeply connected to many, many others – to their successes and failures, their losses and gains, their worries and praises, their trials, disappointments, and their births and their deaths. Life has a lot more dimensions for me now. 

A number of you have asked why I have not been blogging lately and I suppose there are a number of reasons, some little and some bigger, but nothing particularly bad has happened to me directly…just a lot of life happenings in my “body/family”, as I am sure there is happening in yours – because this is the common life. Here are a few specifics on my end that speak of the common life and the human journey. 

This past weekend one of my great life heroes, my uncle Tommy, lost his precious wife, my aunt sally. Uncle Tommy who has not been in great health himself for sometime has been caring for my Aunt Sally, who has had dementia for nearly 15 years, in his home. He has been for me perhaps the greatest contemporary example of agape love in marriage that I have ever known. To those of you who are caretakers for your own ailing loved-ones, like my Uncle Tommy has been, please know that there are others who you might not realize are watching your life example and learning about true love and wisdom from your service and sacrifice. 

I was given the news of Aunt Sally’s death over the phone in the same conversation that I was told that my cousin Jody just had a healthy baby boy and named him Keith. Believe it or not, in the same conversation I learned that my aunt MaryAnne’s mother, Honey Apple (yes that is her real name – Honey Appalonio) had just suffered a stroke. My parents shared these three things with me over the phone because I was down in Savannah attending the wedding celebration of my closest friend from High School, Jill Long (now Jill Havens). A time to rejoice, a time to mourn, a time to dance, a time to be born and a time to die, a time to cry and a time to laugh, a time to speak and a time to be silent - all happening all at the same time and all affecting many of the same people in some way. 

Then next day as we boarded the plane to come home, I found myself rejoicing over the new marriage union of my dear friend Jill and recalling the magnificent and God-honoring celebration I had just witness; but at the same time I was feeling terribly sad for my relatives who were suffering just now, and also just then I was beginning to anticipate the hugs and kisses I would soon be receiving from my own two loving children upon our return home. Then, just as I was realizing that this is simply the way this complicated life is, I received an email on my phone from my dear cousin, Scott, informing me that his father-in-law, David LeJohn, had died suddenly and unexpectedly. My cousin Scottie and his wife Lisa are both extremely successful in their careers; and in Scott’s email he wrote that he would give up all that he has gained in the world to give his wife just one more day with her daddy. 

And so, with all this, which just seemed like too much to process but too real to ignore, I chose to pray. I turned to the One is both the author of time but outside of time. I cried out to the One who is bigger than time, the Creator of time and the Lover of those who are currently confined by time.  Because He knows and He can, because He does and He Is the Great I AM, I went to Him on their behalf! 

Those of you who are parents with multiple children or if you are simply very connected to a lot of people you care about, I want you to know that there is nothing wrong with feeling the extremes opposite ends of the emotional spectrum at the same time. Because I am learning that this is in fact quite right and normal for those who have grown out of the immaturity of self-consumption and grown into the realization of a very connected Family of God. When someone whom you love is succeeding and another whom you love is suffering, you cannot help but feel divided and as a result perhaps a little crazy. But this gives us yet another reason to long for heaven, because when we are with the King of Kings and finally outside of time we may at last feel sane and stable. AMEN? 

Written in love Memory of all those whom we love and have gone before us and who are now waiting for us there outside of time!

Comments

[Sarah]

Oh Kerry,~ beautifully put into words. What you write here speaks so deeply to me and is comforting. Extreme opposite ends of the spectrum with emotions, describes my life perfectly right now and for the last 2 months. So much keeps happening. Such great joy and praise to God and excitement, and then also such devastation, disruption, and saddness. I had chill bumps all over when I read this. Praise God that while he is the creator of time, he is not confined by it! Thank you again for your thoughts and sharing your heart.
Sarah in Idaho

[Diane]

Good morning, Kerry,

I hope you are home this morning, wrapped in all your family's love.

I am particularly touched by your words, and stand in saddness with you for your sorrows and rejoice with you in your happiness. I thank God for the Body of Christ He has given to all of us. It is JOY to stand with you and all in Jesus' Love.

Peace be with you, Kerry.

[cindi m.]

Hey Kerry,

I remember a teacher at my kid's elem. school years ago saying when she came back from family leave after burying her Mom, "I'm doing ok until I see (random)people laughing or eating ice cream or just going about their merry way and I think, Don't they know what happened? Don't they know my Mother's dead? The world just can't go on like it was before last Thursday.How can they go on like nothing's changed?"

Because her world had changed drastically and suddenly, she thought everyone else's had been affected, too.

Many times we are reminded of the 2 ends of the spectrum. I can be down & out riding down the road & see a pink or blue ribbon on a mailbox & my perspective changes. (the cycle of life) Likewise, I can be driving down the road having a 4-star day and pull over to let a funeral procession pass, & I am solemned. (Not bad or depressed; just reflective)

These really are the "times" of our lives.

Good to hear from you. You are appreciated.

Love from NC.

[Marianne Gross]

I agree, AMEN!!

[Debbie from Ohio]

That's a plate full of information that you were dished up in one conversation. Sorry you've had to bear all of that, but glad that you know the One to turn to in times like these. It was nice to see you blog again and I usually figure something is keeping you busy when you don't, and everyone should understand that. God bless!

[Julie]

Sweet words, Kerry. Longing for heaven this day, when we'll all be healed and restored!!

[Tricia W.]

Times of silence are good. We all need to pull away from things to mourn, rejoice and just be with Him.

[Rachel]

Wow, this is an incredible insight. Thank you for uncovering this truth that makes it a bit easier to live with the tension of so many different "times" at once. What you described is something I have been feeling as of late, but you helped give it words and Biblical truth. So thank you!