They loved the praise of men more than the praise of God." John 12:43
Walking in the will of God is the only place where we can know fullness of Joy! But unfortunately, there are so many things that distract us from accomplishing our daily God-given duties and walking in the will of God and experiencing the joy found in this kind of obedience I call these distracting things: Time-waster/flesh-feeders. These activities that feed the monster of self ultimately steal our joy and peace.
Time-waster/flesh feeders are those things we ought to remove from our lives or at least be willing to place under the Lordship of Jesus Christ for Him to curb, because engaging in them outside of God’s will can be quite harmful to us and our loved ones. All humans have engaged in time-waster/flesh-feeding activities at different times. Such things are common to men, because we are all humans with weak and sinful natures desperately desiring to be noticed, praised, understood and lifted up.
Those things done outside of God's direction temporarily make us "feel" better about ourselves...we might feel more worth, more importance, or more acceptance from men. However, eventually these things exhaust us, get our lives out of order, and make us irritated because they are done apart from the great grace of God and they take us away from the great blessing of joy, peace and rest we so need and can find in obeying God in the “little things”. Engagement in these passions actually can keep us from "feeling" good in the long run because they keep us from being "stable" and "disciplined" in our walks.
There is nothing wrong with the activities of being on the computer or the telephone or getting out for some time with friends, or even pouring into some external ministry or community activity: Nothing wrong with these things that is unless they are detracting from our duties in our current state of life. It is necessary for our souls that we take the time to look at the roles which God has placed us in, whether as a wife, husband, mom, dad, or otherwise and identify our responsibilities in these relationships. We must be careful not to get too involved in the things which distract us from properly caring for those who have been entrusted to us. If you know the Great King and Lord personally, then I believe you, too, must sense the kind of gentle nudge that I get when I am being "called back" by the Spirit to those responsibilities I have left to engage in some sort of time-waster/flesh-feeding activity.
Sometimes when I go to make a phone call, jot something down on my blog, turn on the TV, send an email, or just escape into some other activity for a bit, it seems that everything around me comes undone as if the universe is against that happening. And in these instances, I am learning that perhaps God is saying "No, Kerry, that is not what is best for you to do," or perhaps he is saying simply "Not now." And in these cases it usually turns out that it was something I was not meant to write, do or say, at least not just then. Our timing is very often not God's timing and these interruptions are God's great protections for our needy souls. We don't want to be fighting against God's work in our lives, but instead looking at even these little circumstances as ways to keep us on the path of peace. When it is "time" for these things, He will make it clear. It is amazing to me how when it is God's time for me to engage in some "outside passion" my kids just seem to get peaceful and I realize my primary duties in my current state of life are actually accomplished or under control, thus revealing that now is in fact "time" to engage in such things. We really ought to praise God when we don't get what we want or in the time that we want it because these little "crossing outs" from God really can save us from a life of time-wasting/fleshfeeding activities.
You see, because these things for which we strive against God's will to do inevitably result in the works of the flesh they have no redeeming heavenly value anyhow. In the end, when we stand before him, God will count them as wood, hay, and stubble rather than wheat for our souls! Now, you may be saying that a lot of these kinds of things that might not have been God's "best" for you have in fact ended up having a lot of redeeming value for the kingdom after all. And this may be very true...I know it was in my case in most everything in which I have been involved in the orphan care arena these many years. But I encourage you to make sure you are not using the ends to justify the means. Because when we look back upon our lives we will be able to see how God redeemed a great deal of our messes...that is what he is in the business of doing. He redeemed a lot of mine; however, my having engaged in those messes sure took a toll on me and my loved ones at times. I used to say to my mom when seeking to justify my actions, "Well, God used it for good." And my mom would say something like, "What else does God have to use but our sin. If he only used what was perfectly pure, he could use little to nothing of what we have done because we rarely do anything out of a pure motive." So, just because God may have used it, doesn't mean it was His best for you, particularly if it was more about our flesh. And quite honestly, sometimes what we are engaged in that God would have us quit can often be a roll God intends to be open so another can fill. It might be about time we "get out of the way" and "give room for others". In my 15 years of ministry, I have seen an incredible amount of pride on the part of "godly" people who just cannot let go. When we are in a position of leadership it is critically important that we step aside as the Lord leads to allow others a chance to try so they too can bloom and grow - this is part of active discipleship. Sometimes we have to trust God enough to let go, not only for the growth of others or for the growth of the ministry but for our own release, return of heart;s peace, and for the sake order in our own homes and relationships!
Do you find yourself often Exhausted? Annoyed? Irritated? ...Then take a look at where you have fed the monster of self and taken the moments of your life into your own feeble, yet tight-gripped hands.
God wants us to reckon our flesh dead. And it is very difficult for our spirits to win against our flesh, when we are feeding this fleshly monster "on the side". We help the monster grow stronger and then foolishly think that our unfed weak spirits can fight and win against our well-fed flesh. We bring him out of the cage and then wonder why havoc has been wrecked upon our households!
We ought to do all for the glory of God. When we are not sure if something is a flesh feeder or not, we ought to stop and ask ourselves is this activity really for God's glory or is it really so that people will think well of me. Is it about my being known or about God being known? Does the activity bring an inner peace (even when it is a difficult task) or does it make me unsettled and annoyed...does it make my heart race or make my heart at peace. Does it lift me up above others around me or does it bring the body together in unity.
One might ask, "What about my passions for ministry?" How do I know if they are part of God's will for me or not? And my opinion on this matter is that the best place to start is by looking at whether or not the activity will allow you to still fulfill your duties in your current state of life or will they detract form them. With that being said, I also believe it is possible to have undertaken more duties than God might have intended you to do in your current state. You might just be too busy because you have taken on more than God has called you to do. Just because it is "good" and "godly" doesn't mean God intends you to do it. "Good" and "godly" can actually be "sin" and "disobedience". Just because men are praising us doesn't mean God is pleased with these things.
We have become such a complicated and overstretched people. We need to SIMPLIFY! Wives, get together with your husbands and ask them what they see as your duties as a wife and mom and where they see room for the fulfilling of other passions. If you are not married, ask a mature believe who knows you well to speak honestly with you. Give them permission to correct you! It may hurt at first but such truth can be life-giving! Remove the superfluous time-wasters in your life and perhaps you will find room for your ministry passions. But again, do not go into ministry looking for the worth you have not found elsewhere. Instead go out in obedience to a calling and seek God's approval first. But be careful not to neglect the covering of your father or husband or overseer (depending on your state of life) for these people have been put in your life to keep your soul safe. There is an enormous amount of flesh feeding going on in the lives of Christians, but is being justified under the auspices of "ministry" and "serving God." But all to often it is really about "serving self". And even if we see how god is using "our work" to bless others, it doesn't mean we are to continue, particularly if we know it is not what we have been called to do. And at the very least we must ask God to come and purify our hearts and ministries and set our hearts right so that we can be clear about our daily duties in his kingdom.
I received a pray request from a very mature Christian sister of mine today. I share it because I believe, for the sake of our souls, it ought to be the prayer request of all of our hearts.
She writes, "I continue to be faced up against my nature - this belief that I have to have reassurance, or affirmation, or be needed to know that i am loved. It doesn't really make logical sense but it’s very strong and very ugly at times; and has nothing to do with Christ and everything to do with me. So there's a specific prayer request - that I will find the faith to know that Jesus is enough."
May we all have the faith to know that Jesus is indeed enough. Let us no longer live for the praises of men, but rather for the praises of God - Living for an audience of One!
"We were not looking for praise from men, not from you or anyone else." I Timothy 2:6
He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men's hearts. At that time each will receive his praise from God. I Corinthians 4:5
"Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life." I Thessalonians 4:11a
Hi Kerry,
This post is so meaningful to me. So much to think on that you put words to.
Posted by: Christine | August 19, 2009 at 08:14 PM
Great point, Kerry, when you said, "But again, do not go into ministry looking for the worth you have not found elsewhere. Instead go out in obedience to a calling and seek God's approval first."
If we're not careful, it's about what WE can do for God, when that is such faulty, sinful thinking. Also, I think, we jump in to too much by saying, "If I don't do it, who will?" and get over-extended. I see this esp. as being a pastor's wife and have fell under the pull as well personally.
What a great response from your mom - ouch! If God only used our pure actions, He'd have so little to use. Man. That hurts.
Thank you for sharing your heart.
Posted by: Mrs. H | August 20, 2009 at 11:43 AM
Dear Kerry:
Thank you for this post. It is full of wisdom and truth. Please know that it really spoke to my spirit and goes along with some things our Lord has been speaking to me :)
Stephanie (from Michigan)
Posted by: Stephanie | August 21, 2009 at 11:15 AM
kerry!
loved this post, encouraging and thought provoking for every area of my life. i needed all those reminders today and now i have even more to pray about. love you dearly...miss you so....
love
sally
Posted by: sally mcrae | September 02, 2009 at 01:17 PM
Thank you so much for sharing this post. It really spoke to my heart and has given me so much to think about. I appreciate your blog so much.
Posted by: April Z | September 06, 2009 at 08:55 PM
Kerry,
Thanks for this post. I find your blog very encouraging and appreciate you taking the time, when it is right in God's eyes, for you to write for the glory of God and the increased joy of His people. I know the battle, and I so want Jesus to be my all in all. Thanks for sharing the wisdom God gives.
His and yours, Connie
Posted by: Connie | September 18, 2009 at 07:21 AM
Kerry,
Thank you so much for this post! My wife emailed me the link to your blog, and I really appreciate your wisdom. God spoke to my heart through your words today!
My prayer is that Jesus will be enough for me, and that I'll stop trying to be "something" to make myself feel better about my place in life.
WOW! What a Savior!
Posted by: Keith G. | October 05, 2009 at 11:29 AM
Nice read! This is the first time that I read your post and I feel happy finding a person with such passion. I hope your blog will touch more lives. Thank you.
Posted by: Hunter L. | December 02, 2009 at 10:14 PM