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November 24, 2009

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Sarah

Kerry, thank you for giving so much of yourself to share these thoughts and lessons. Truly thought provoking and heart touching each time.
The last few days I have been spending time thinking about what I am thankful for and then thanking the Lord for these things.
I wanted to let you know that I am thankful that you share your heart without pretense to those of us here in blog world. You are a blessing.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Sarah in Idaho

Sarah

One more thing...
Todays post really hit home. Really. Thanks for helping me have my eyes to my heart open a bit more.
Sarah

Claudine T in MD

Kerry, As always your words pierce the heart. They should. I am, and have always been, in agreement with the words you pen, I believe under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. I do, however, want to address others who are maybe in a similar situation as I. In January it will be 20 years since I fell to my knees in desperation, crying out to this God I did not know and had never seen, begging for mercy knowing how desperately I needed what His Son did for me on that Cross. I remember clearly saying, "God, I know nothing about You or the Bible. All I somehow know is that You are what I need...that I have no hope without Your intervention." I was newly married and an immediate transformation took place. God Himself put a burden on my heart for things I did not understand -- I did not know the verses to support the inner "voice" nor did I know the "Christian lingo." But at that moment I had an extreme burden for the lost, for the orphan, for the poor, for the Jews, and for intercession. God swelled my heart to give -- in ways I could not explain. I thought God would send me to, at that time, Russia, to build an orphanage. I began taking Russian classes. And, I also began having babies. At present, I only have four. Prior to the arrival of my sweet firstborn, I frequently asked my husband if we could go on mission trips or to a discipleship training school, or...if we could adopt.

Because it would take pages upon pages to share the happenings of the last 20 years, I obviously can't go into the details, but they have been challenging in every way. We have oftentimes not been on the "same page" spiritually. He is an extremely generous man with many wonderful qualities. Fear and insecurity, unfortunately, did not disappear when he was saved.

I'm bringing all of this up to say that there are MANY, MANY believers who would now, or in the past, have truly given everything to walk an adventurous faith walk because they were so madly in love with Jesus. Not all of us, however, have had the privilege of going. The spiritual struggle over reading words like yours (and several others) over the years add to both the disappointment and even confusion of what our specific purpose is. We KNOW what the Word says, our hearts were burdened BY GOD to obey, but...our circumstances didn't allow us to move forward...at least not...yet.

I'm currently 42. I have still not adopted. I have only helped others to move forward in their adoptions. I've not been on any mission trips. I know God is sovereign...but I know I have a responsibility to follow Him.

Are there others out there who are in this painful place? Hearing messages like these, wondering if somehow you missed some opportunity somewhere? Is it enough that I've attempted to train my four children in God's ways, often falling short? Will the Father look at someone like me who has not gone abroad...who has not adopted...who has not gone out and fed 5,000...or even 500...and still say, "well done?"

I would truly like to somehow know that God sees, as He says He does...that He understands...and that it's ok.

To anyone out there reading this, I pray the blessing and fullness of the Lord would be yours. That you WOULD have His peace that passes understanding and fully know that you are personally in the center of His will...and that it's ok.

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