"God is able to do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine." Ephesians
Understanding what it m eans to have Faith seems a peculiar thing for me in certain situations, particularly when it comes to "believing for the things I really desire in this life to come to pass." Does being cautiously optimistic mean we are too skeptical and lack faith or does it mean we are not being presumptuous with God? What is it that I actually believe about great faith? I believe that God loves us and that He can do anything.
He created our galaxy with billions of stars and then billions of galaxies beyond our own. He raised men from the dead and sustains life upon this planet every moment of everyday despite all the forces working against human survival. God can do anything - nothing is impossible for Him. My faith in God is great. I believe in Him for all things. But when it comes to believing that God will do just as I hope and bring about every circumstance I desperately desire just because I have asked and because I "see" them as "right" and "good"...well, that is not the kind of faith that I possess. Sure, I believe in the power of speaking life and righteousness in the name of Jesus. I believe there is power in prayer and that we are battling against evils we can not see who seek to harm us. But I also believe that God in His infinite wisdom will "take away" those things which are not in His plan for us. I believe He allows crosses and sufferings that are contrary to some of our deepest desires and most earnest prayers for the working out of his plan and purification of our souls - well, basically out of His love for us. Do I understand it? Well, no. Do I trust Him? Well, yes.
So, in light of these thoughts, Scott and I have announced this Christmas that we are Expecting. Expecting a baby.....More like knowing there is currently a precious baby in my womb with a strong heartbeat. As for expecting....well, we are expecting God to hear our prayers and answer them according to His will and infinite wisdom. We are expecting the grace to embrace His will.
The last two times I was pregnant we actually did not tell our other two children about the babies. At least not until Cole asked me one day, "Mommy how many times have you had a baby in your belly." I told him six times. He immediately counted the other four children in heaven and asked me for their names so he could add them to the family tree he was drawing with chalk on our sidewalk.
This time, we wanted to wait until we were far along enough to be more certain a child would be added to our earthly family and spare them the emotional up and down. So, after we heard the heartbeat at 9 and 1/2 weeks, we decided to tell our children. Not only because we had a heartbeat but because we have taken significant steps down the path to adoption. When we told Cole that I had a baby in my womb, he immediately responded by saying, "Oh mommy, the Lord has blessed you. I am so happy! This is the best present ever."
Then he asked what if God takes this one to heaven, too, before they get to be in our family and play with Maya and him. We, then, told him that we were also starting the adoption process, so that we were pretty confident that over the course of the next year or two the Lord would be putting a child or two, by birth and/or by adoption, into our family. We currently have peace about walking prayerfully down both paths, giving as much room to God to work in His way in our lives. We will keep you posted as we feel led. I do appreciate your prayers.
Congratulations Kerry!!
I am a new reader to your blog and have been so blessed by your posts.
I will be praying for your pregnancy and for the beginning of your adoption journey!!!
God is good and He is faithful!
:)
Posted by: Kari Stewart | December 28, 2009 at 09:22 AM
Congratulations, Kerry and Scott! I will be praying for your unborn baby in your womb and your son or daughter God will give you through adoption. Such precious gifts!
Posted by: Jennifer | December 28, 2009 at 10:18 AM
OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!
Of course I knew about your desire to adopt, BUT I did not know about the little precious Babe in your womb!!!!
We will be praying for both your children!!! So exciting and we really MUST skype you before Jeff heads off to Israel again this Saturday!!!!
Love to you all!!!
Posted by: naomi cuozzo | December 28, 2009 at 11:10 AM
YAY!! Congrats!! Much love and joy and peace to you and family!!!
Posted by: Lyndsey | December 28, 2009 at 12:56 PM
Tears of joy for you and Scott! Praying that God continues to give you peace and grows a strong healthy baby to enter your beautiful family!
Posted by: Christine | December 28, 2009 at 01:23 PM
Kerry, so glad to hear your news. I have been praying for you and will continue. God Bless you and your family.
Romans 12:12
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
Posted by: Ann | December 28, 2009 at 04:08 PM
I'm sitting here with a big ole smile on my face, Kerry. Thank you for sharing your news with us!
God is Soooooooooo Good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love from NC.
Posted by: cindi m | December 28, 2009 at 04:24 PM
How did the Lord decide to allow us to live lives in such a similar path?? How amazing. I am excited to walk through this path with you all. Each time I pray for our little baby I will lift you up as well. Much love!! Jenna
Posted by: jenna | December 28, 2009 at 05:37 PM
Congratulations, I am praying for you and your family. I love the part about expecting his grace! Beautifully said!
Posted by: Julie in Ca | December 28, 2009 at 06:49 PM
Congratulations!!!
Posted by: Tina | December 29, 2009 at 05:07 AM
Wonderful news Kerry. I will be praying for you and your family.
Posted by: Christine | December 29, 2009 at 12:16 PM
PTL kerry!!! i am putting you on my daily prayer list....you will be lifted up to Him everyday before you even wake up! lotsa love girlie!!!!
Posted by: mary hicks | December 30, 2009 at 05:38 AM
Wonderful news. Will be praying for you. Congratulations.
Posted by: Julie | December 30, 2009 at 12:25 PM
Kerry and Scott, Congratulations! YOu are in our prayers and will continue to be. Kerry, I love reading your blog. I love reading about your sweet children and the wonderful things that Cole says. I will never forget that horrible night almost two years ago. You both helped me grow that night and you continue to help me grow through your blog. I am praying for you...
Posted by: Amy Lessin Diehl | December 31, 2009 at 04:15 AM
kerry!
what amazing news to be able to share with us!!! i pray for peace of heart for you. i know that feeling of not wanting to become 'too attached too soon' but already having all the love you can imagine for this little one. my prayer is that you'll be able to enjoy this pregnancy fully and that the worries/fears you may have will be kept at bay. we, too, were in the process to adopt lydia from guatemala when God said 'nope....not busy enough....here you go!' and little ben was born (after 3 miscarriages from years before) exactly 3 months to the day after our seth ran Home to be with Jesus. God is good - ALL the time, even in those moments of deep, deep sorrow....He is good! and now look at you - with a new year upon you and so much to look forward to!! So excited for you and scott!! have a blessed new year!!
jolynn van wienen
hudsonville, michigan
Posted by: Jolynn Van Wienen | December 31, 2009 at 11:34 AM
Dear Kerry - so great to read your post. I have the same faith struggle as you - what does that really look like?? God is revealing it very slowly. Praying for surrender for and in all (that is my recent heart prayer about so many things). An author that I like,Richard Rohr, said, "The power that Jesus trusts and offers is precisely the power that is found when you have no control at all". Praying for you as you wait and watch. Tricia W.
Posted by: Tricia | January 01, 2010 at 08:07 AM
Kerry,
Congratulations!!!
Thank you for sharing this awesome blessing with us. I will be praying for the child you are carrying in your womb and the child you are carrying in your heart through adoption. We too have suffered through the loss of 2 children due to miscarriages so I know the fear and pain you have. I will be praying for peace and health for you and your family.
God Bless you.
Joanna
Posted by: joanna rummel | January 01, 2010 at 03:40 PM
CONGRATS!!! Praying that your have a happy, healthy and uneventful pregrancy and your adoption journey is quick and smooth.
God bless!
Rhonda
Posted by: Rhonda | January 01, 2010 at 04:42 PM
Such good, good news, sister! Will continue to keep you all in my prayers!
Posted by: Carla Craig | January 01, 2010 at 07:25 PM
Well I'll be! God's grace shines threw & lights the faith for yet another child of His!!! :) Harvesting those seeds you've both sowen is certainly a blessing from our Creator God Almighty! May it be His will for yet another child of His to become loved upon in such a Christian Loving Home as yours! To know the peace & security of a family DOES matter to God!!! :)
And Congratulations of His baby within also!!! What a gift He has given for you to cherish!!! 10 wks is a wonderful good start! :)
Peace, Love, Prosperity to You,
~Joni
Posted by: Sweet Joni | January 02, 2010 at 09:28 AM
Wonderful news Kerry! I am so happy for you and Scott and your kiddos. I pray for a healthy pregnancy, and adoption is such a beautiful option even with a healthy pregnancy :) We are adopting through Reeces Rainbow, and the need is SO great. In case you haven't heard of it, please take a look.
www.reecesrainbow.com
Blessings,
Jodi Lewandoski
Posted by: Jodi Lewandoski | January 03, 2010 at 06:51 PM
Kerry!
What wonderful news:) May God bless your growing family. I will pray that you and Scott have peace during this time and are able to enjoy all of the changes going on inside of you! Big Hugs!
xo
Jen Peterson
Posted by: Jen Mellon Peterson | January 05, 2010 at 11:27 AM
I was out of town and reading on my phone when I first read this post, but I couldn't comment! It was KILLING me! I'm finally home and can say CONGRATULATIONS Kerry!! I am thrilled for you and praying! Keep us updated on everything!!
Posted by: Amber | January 07, 2010 at 08:00 PM
Congratulations Kerry! I am new here and just wanted to say 'hello'!! Praying that you have a healthy pregnancy and a healthy adoption journey!
Blessings and Hugs,
~ Tanya
Posted by: TanyaLea | January 13, 2010 at 09:30 AM