"Joyful in Hope, Patient in Affliction, Faithful in Prayer"
It sure has been an emotional roller-coaster these last few days in the Hasenbalg house. Up and Down, down and Up again....all the while trying to stay trusting, prayerful, and peaceful in Jesus.
From the devastating news of the quake in Haiti and the terrible suffering of her people to the joyful news, a day later, that God has chosen to continue sustaining the baby in my womb (and then there have been all things in between). ....
Happiness and sadness -mourning and dancing - loss and gain - death and life - found all together in the lives of humans on any given day.
One of commenters on this blog has written the above scripture to me a number of times, "Joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." And despite the fact that I have received this same word (from the Lord through her) in personal times of profound mourning, deep hurt, times of anxiety, and even in great hope and joy, each time it has ministered perfectly to my soul.
God put the instructions for the extremes right there together in one scripture, because He knows so well that this is how it works for His people in this life. We are never rejoicing while all others are rejoicing, we are never mourning while all others are mourning...life doesn't work that way. The rain falls on us all, the sun shines on us all, the blessings come as well as the trials into all of our lives but all at different times.
When I am experiencing joy in hope, I still desire to remember those who are suffering even when I am not and to be diligent in prayer and help on there behalf. Lord help me fulfill this desire. And that when I am suffering, I pray that I still would remember it is for a season and that You, oh Lord, require patience, trust and prayer even and especially at these times. And to be grateful for those who have remembered me in prayer.
The Doctor looked for a heartbeat today and could not find one at first. He said, "let's not worry yet, let's just do an ultrasound." But from that moment, I had already begun losing hope. I flashed to having to tell Cole again sad news, but then began wondering where the grace and power would come to choose to praise the Lord even in this. Then the doc finally returned with the ultrasound machine. He placed the wand on my tummy and said, "So, there's your baby." and I said, "Is there a heartbeat?" and he said, "Yes, there is a heartbeat and every thing looks good." I was stunned - neither Scott or I could really recover from him not being able to find a heartbeat at first with the handheld doppler. Even when we finally got to the car and were driving away, we were still silent and in disbelief.
As we drove away from the hospital I wondered, why did the Lord allow such an intense emotional up and down like that at a time like this....but then I thought that somehow it must be good for us not to take life for granted, and to feel in our own souls a portion of the pain that some of our brethren who are suffering now, even if we aren't currently personally suffering ourselves. it is important that we remember so that we care enough to pray.
For miracles in Haiti we pray! For all the mommies and daddies who have lost their children or whose children are injured. For all the children who lost their mommies and daddies. For those in need of food and water. For those trapped and calling out to you! For those who do not know you - hear all their cries Oh Lord and come to their rescue.
For all these things, the good we don't want to take for granted and for the pain that we do not understand, we come to you and bow down. We believe and hope in how you will turn the ashes of those who trust in you into great beauty.
I love you Kerry!! Your blogs always move me to tears. God truely does bring beauty from our ashes, because, you are a beautiful godly women and I am blessed to know you! I am sorry for the hurt and pain your family has been through. Know that we love you and miss you guys so much!
Posted by: Nicole Espino | January 16, 2010 at 02:39 AM
Hi Kerry, my kids and I have been praying for your little one during our homeschool devotions. This blog post relates to my life very much. My Doctor told me this week I have cysts on my liver. I am to go in for some more tests. Although, he feels it is not a concern that old fear arises from health problems past. The feelings made me think of what the people in Haiti must be feeling on a so much grander scale. Thanks for the reminder that He does turn ashes into beauty.
Posted by: Christine | January 16, 2010 at 07:27 AM
Kerry,
I continue to pray for you. So happy to hear you are feeling Gods hand on you. I pray you will continue to feel His great joy.
Praying-Ann
Posted by: Ann | January 16, 2010 at 10:35 AM
This sentence hit me this morning:
"It is important that we remember so that we care enough to pray."
We say we care about this person, or that person, or this situation or that......but do we really? The word "care" is kinda like the word "love." We throw it around loosely sometimes. Do we really care?
Enough to pray?
Thanks, Kerry, for making me search my heart a little (no, alot) deeper.
Posted by: cindi m | January 16, 2010 at 10:50 AM
Still praying for you friend!
Posted by: Jenna Spears | January 17, 2010 at 08:59 PM