It's a Girl!

Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children. Genesis 3:16

I am twenty weeks pregnant tomorrow and we just found out that the baby in my womb is a girl.  We are so very happy.  But the truth is that we would have been overjoyed whether the baby was a girl or a boy.  We are just grateful to the Lord for all that He has given to us this day.  

My hospital appointment last nearly three hours.  Considering the many complications I have had in pregnancies past, the PA and DOC had a lot of questions for me and tests to go over.  

Like my new doctors, many of you have inquired about the specifics about "How Isabella died", (Isabella, our daughter who was stillborn in January of 2008), and I realized that this isn't something I have ever shared on this blog.  As a matter of fact, I don't think I have ever written about the causes of any of our losses.   But in having to review these details with the doctors, I thought it couldn't hurt to answer these questions here.  

At first we did not know why Isabella died in my womb at 36.5 weeks, but after giving birth to her the doctor found two knots in her umbilical cord - one of which was very tight (infarcted), which caused the baby to pass on.  

As for the three additional miscarriages I have had, I only know the cause of one of them.  I became sick during my pregnancy and because of throwing up so many times and becoming dehydrated my water broke and I went into preterm labor at only 15 weeks.  And the baby was too young to be saved.  We know the baby was a girl and we named her Malaya Grace - which means "Freedom in the presence of God."  As for the other two miscarriages, we do not know the causes of death.  I decided to miscarry at home, so we have no clinical answers.  But I take the same comfort in these that I do in the others, that the Lord is sovereign and has taken these precious ones unto Himself.  And that He is faithful to bring beauty out of their ashes and to heal our hearts every time (as we present our ashes to Him).

But even with the two healthy children (Cole and Maya) that the Lord presented to Scott and me to raise on this earth I also had some complications.  At birth, Cole came forth with the cord wrapped around his neck three times and was born blue.  Thanks to Lord, he survived and has no known complications as a result.  With Maya I had preeclampsia starting at 30 weeks and at 37 weeks I was induced because my symptoms associated with it became worse.  Praise the Lord she was born perfectly healthy.  

So, why after so much struggle, would Scott and I continue to trust the Lord with our childbearing and risk more pain and sorrow?  Bearing children isn't a requirement and we already have two beautiful children. At least that is what many ask us - both with their words and with their eyes and body language when they find out we are pregnant again.  

I suppose I just feel like it is the better choice for us.  I know there are no guarantees,and  I have learned this the hard way I suppose.  I have come to know women who have lost more than ten children through miscarriage and other complications.  Scott's own aunt lost 7 children and all in the third trimester. What sorrow some face in this life. Oh, Lord how we as women have known the pain of the fall - the sorrow associated not only with the labor of child bearing but the sorrow in the conception and pregnancies as well.  I know we should not be surprised by these trials.  But we pray to you, Lord, who are a merciful God, have mercy on your children and bless the wombs of your people!   For those of you hurting in this area right now, please remember that the Lord is compassionate and cares about your hurts. And that he is at work and does have a plan for your family!  Oh the amazing adoption stories I have heard that include testimonies that began with infertility and or miscarriage and ended with statements like, "we could not imagine not having this child in our family now," or "this child was always meant to be in our family."  

As a friend of Show Hope says, "God has a plan for your plan!"  And Lord, we do know your ways are truly higher than our ways.  But, in the meantime while the pain is great for some, please make your presence known and comfort, heal and lead your hurting sheep.  

Comments

[Julie in CA]

Praying for baby girl Hasenbalg. Praising God for this blessing on your family.

I lost a baby at 13 weeks between my two children. I have never known why and like you said, I am thankful for God and his sovereignty in the situation. I have never worried about why. It was and is still hard knowing that I never knew my child. I also know, that I wouldn't have my daughter that is here today, if I had that baby. I got pregnant with my daughter one month after losing that baby. So I rejoice in the opportunity to raise this child. I hope that makes sense. It is just my experience, not anything written to you. Just felt good to share that. I really don't talk about my loss much, unless it is to someone who has been there.

[naomi cuozzo]

Yeah!!! A little sister!! I cannot wait to tell my kids!!! (and Jeff!) I am so glad that baby is doing well and that the Lord AND the Doctors are taking really good care of you!! We continue to pray for you every day!!!

love you all!! It was so good to finally skype!!

[Carla Craig]

Congratulations sister! For some reason when I would pray for you, I would pray for your little baby girl, just the other night I noticed it and wondered why I was doing this. I feel the same way about moving forward with our China adoption. Trusting God for His plan and not what we think is best or what is easier, if we did, we would have closed the door a while back. We'll see what God has for us both!! Love you!!

[Julie]

Yahoo!! Yay for you!! Cheers to a healthy little girl!!!

[Rhonda]

What a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing your heart on this topic.

I miscarried our first and only pregnancy in the early stages. The pain and loss took a very long time to heal. God is compassionate and He does bring healing in due time.

It took a long time to understand any reason behind our loss and subsequent infertility. As I look back over the time in which our daughter's mother was pregnant and where I was medically, I realize the 1) I could not have carried a pregnancy to term and 2) I could not have cared for a newborn.

God did have a plan for my plan to be a mother. It just didn't take the road I assumed that it would. The hardest part, for me, was accepting His plan above mine. But now that I hold our daughter in my arms, I can't help but wonder at the miracle of adoption--she couldn't be any more perfect of a fit into our family had she come from my womb. Yes, God's plan was good.

[Anna]

Yay Kerry!! SO excited for you guys! Can't wait to see you soon!

[The Other Alice]

Congratulations all! In my prayers. :)

[Julie]

Congratulations. Continuing to pray for you and this sweet baby girl. Thank you for sharing your story of loss. I will never know what it is to carry and give birth to my own child, but trust God that if He wants to bless me with children He will.

[Rachel Murphy]

Congratulations and God bless your family and your little growing girl!!! I think of you and your family often, as I have also lost 4 children, all of whom died before they were born. I am always encouraged by your wise and hopeful outlook on your struggles and losses. I am still struggling with what to do next--our one living child was not born healthy, but is thriving after life-saving heart surgery, and I am so thankful for her. I am convinced that God wants us to grow our family, and I think I feel His gentle urging to try again for a biological child, but the fear of another loss paralyzes me. I will be praying for an easy second half of pregnancy and complication-free delivery! And thank you for your encouragement through this blog--it truly holds me up on days when I need it the most!